KBridget

United States

-16 years old
-Pansexual/Poly
-They/Them
-My life is just one big panic attack
-Real name is Kayla

Message to Readers

It's not that good, i have trouble writing so short. please let me know what you think could've been better, and what i can improve on in the final draft

Clotting Crimson||PLEASE REVIEW!!

August 14, 2020

The wreckage was still out there somewhere, hungrily lapping up flames and torturing those who tried to conquer it. A frail man with a bloodied face passed by me, the orange gurney under him soaking in the clotting crimson. Is that what she would look like? I held my gaze on a woman being rushed into the ER. I could've sworn I saw broken bits of teeth and skull sticking through the dark skin. I felt sick to my stomach
     "Mr. Avlord?" I thought I turned, though I could've been falling. Next to me was her death certificate.

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27 Comments
  • Landofstories

    replying: WOWOOW you're super lucky you know what you're interested in. I have a weird fascination with books like that because I love and hate them simultaneously, im grossed out and they are really chilling but the suspense oh the suspense and those small breakthroughs they're what I live for lol !


    5 months ago
  • Landofstories

    replying: oooh im excited now!! lol


    5 months ago
  • Spade

    This is the complete opposite of 'not that good!' It's amazing! Good luck!


    5 months ago
  • Landofstories

    replying: oooooh definitely, i actually just read kind of a murder mystery and i loveddd it!! so yes, when i get the chance I'm most definitely going to read the series. and now i get your username lol!


    5 months ago
  • Landofstories

    replying: oh i haven't heard of that book yet, but I'm going to go check it out!


    5 months ago
  • Deleted User

    This is a really good piece of flash fiction! It held my interest and kept me wondering what had happened (which is important)! I also love the way you used "clotting crimson" to describe the blood.


    6 months ago
  • Landofstories

    replying: THANK YOU SO MUCH!!


    6 months ago
  • Landofstories

    question: how do you republish with the comments still there? sorry this is like a huge mystery for me lol


    6 months ago
  • AbigailSauble

    The phrase 'is that what she would look like' is a bit confusing to me ... I love the idea of having a question there, but it doesn't seem to fit. Is the she referring to the woman who came into the ER in the next sentence?
    Great, vivid flashbulb description of a hospital!
    Keep on! God bless!


    6 months ago
  • Landofstories

    replying: relatable lol


    6 months ago
  • Bhavya's Treasure

    Just an hour ago I heard about the explosion in Beirut, Lebanon. I don't know if you intended to represent that incident here but yes this piece seems to fit so well for that tragedy!
    My prayers are with the people of Beirut.


    6 months ago
  • Landofstories

    oh and ps just looked at your profile and your life is super relatable lol


    6 months ago
  • Landofstories

    replying: course and you too lol! sry i replied so late its 1 o'clock and i just got up to write an idea i had lol


    6 months ago
  • Ree Sethu

    nice work!


    6 months ago
  • Cata Londo

    Just reviewed! Hope it's useful... Good job!!


    6 months ago
  • Landofstories

    replying: ugh, girl same! anyway will def check his new series out!


    6 months ago
  • Landofstories

    hey um i kind of just deleted the piece you replied too so i cant see it oops


    6 months ago
  • Landofstories

    replying: lol you'll love it! is there a new series by him?!?!?!?! what?! which one i didnt hear of this...? well at least you got past your block im on a serious hiatus :(, ha im the person to be obsessed spend all my time on it and then i get bored and like im done. thats probably really bad tho lol


    6 months ago
  • Landofstories

    replying: ikr! he's like an ultimate like just amazing he was such a great actor such a great singer and AN AMAZING AUTHOR like what the actual- , and you should totally go watch it! (tho be prepared you may be a little annoyed after like the first few seasons or even the first one cuz of one of the characters- alright enough spoilers lol) and yes there was an acutal magic in his books he was pure genius tbh lol


    6 months ago
  • Landofstories

    replying: wow really? his stories were actually what made me love storytelling in the first place, i mean ya harry potter but like there was something....real about conner's, like even though it was fantasy you could still immerse yourself into that world and for a story to do that, that's amazing! same, one of my faves too!!! fun story: i had actually just watched glee (if you know glee seriously i'll give you a gold star: if you get that reference...) and (i read land of stories a few months before that and when i found out the same chris colfer that stared in glee WROTE THAT BOOK I WAS SCREAMING i was like they have the same name....ohmygod! (sorry i just had to share that weird story with me because i was genuinely so surprised!)


    6 months ago
  • Mia2004

    What kind of wreckage? I really wanna know :) I love everything about this story


    6 months ago
  • Landofstories

    replying: SAME! ohmygod that story had me up late so many nights lol and np


    6 months ago
  • Landofstories

    replying: oohhhhh got it, this piece just turned even more heartbreaking which I didn't know was possible... and duh ofc lol !!!!!chris colfer's books!!!!, i just thought it was fitting for this site lol


    6 months ago
  • Landofstories

    i love this piece, it is so descriptive!!! just a quick question tho, the last part I was a bit confused and I'm really curious, what was it about?


    6 months ago
  • The Happy Hamster

    Sang. These stories really are playing with my emotions. Very powerful with your descriptions. Your story is a most disturbing one. In a way like that of the Titanic. Very wonderful work.


    6 months ago
  • elliem

    Wow. This piece is dark, rich, and powerful. I'd be willing to do a review if you'd like it, and I can give some more in depth feedback then. :)


    6 months ago
  • Lata.B

    Omg this is so sad!


    6 months ago