agk9871

United States

I love Jesus Christ.
I love the environment.
I love trying to grow random plants from seeds.
I love reading and writing.
And I love to think. It's incredible where your mind can take you.

Message to Readers

Please share any suggestions or improvements I can make to make this story more clear! How can I change things so the "golden orb" is more clearly represented as hope? How can I make it so the reader more easily understands what is happening?
Please let me know your overall thoughts!

Hope Beyond the Clouds

August 4, 2020

Lying on the numbing pavement, I sigh. Above, the clouds soak up the daylight - a wicked reminder of that grey hospital wall.

A droplet splashes upon my arm, my face, cold like death. Tears cascade from the sky. I squint, a brilliance penetrating the thick clouds. Warmth floods my veins; my eyes burn. I rise into the gentle blue opening, towards the golden orb. Leaving fear behind. Breathe.

The clouds swim across the ocean, swallowing the light.

The pavement is hard under my head, my hands cold. Yet my toes tingle, and the ground warms my back.
98 words. I hope this made sense... it can be interpreted in many different ways, but it's supposed to be about someone facing fear and worry for a loved one (or could be seen as facing fear and worry for themselves) in the hospital (I realize that is very vague in the story) and how they find hope "beyond the clouds". 

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2 Comments
  • Huba Huba

    This is an interesting piece. I like how it's mysterious, and there isn't a right answer for what the story is about. I love your descriptive language!


    about 1 year ago
  • Stone of Jade

    this is just like a poem! It is so beautiful and full of vivid imagery! Your title is amazing and all your metaphors work so well in this piece. Really well written!!


    about 1 year ago