FantasyOtter12

United States

He/him
ISFJ-T
Scorpio
Abnegation
Love dystopian fiction!
Pianist
Bookworm
*Joined 7/6/20*
OtterFAMMM

Message from Writer

~Always super grateful for peer feedback!!

~One of the three blind mice-->go check out jztpenguin and mindfruit, the other two :)

~WtW adopted by ze amazing Anne Blackwood ^-^

~ We're all going to die at some point. What matters is how you lived your life. ~ Mindfruit

~Currently reading: The 5th Wave (Rec. by dovetrees <3)

A Broken Summer Rhythm | FINAL

August 5, 2020

    I could only see her stunning brown eyes in person at summer camp each year. When fall came, we parted, teary eyed, and promised to keep in touch. The amber and crimson leaves, detaching themselves from the tree they would never forget. Winter, we would expel the frost over FaceTime and hot chocolate with marshmallows.
    Spring rolled around, and we started blooming like hyacinths, longing for summer to arrive. And every summer solstice, we would reunite, joy expelling the heat in the air. We danced to this rhythm annually, until that one summer it cut off, unexplained, and jagged.

 
Did I imply enough that they broke up one summer? What could I do better? (Word Count 99) Any comments and feedback appreciated :D Thanks to Lata.B and And_The_Stars_Laughed for the super helpful peer reviews and Cata Londohappy butterfly, and mia_:) for the constructive critique in comments! And everyone else that liked and gave encouragement through the comments buuut the footnotes are only so long :\

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2 Comments
  • Rohan’s Defender

    I wanted to suggest The Hunger Games... obvious I guess ( you have probably read it already), but still, it is good! :)


    about 2 months ago
  • AbigailSauble

    You certainly do imply at the end that something happened one summer. Though it sounds more mysterious than you probably meant. Great descriptions of their friendship! Fairly relatable. =)
    Keep on! God bless!


    about 2 months ago