Peer Review by Huba Huba (United States)

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Shaded Shadow

By: Lata.B


You lay on your bed and the ceiling fan blows a silent breeze your way. The cool air makes the hairs on your unshaved legs prickle with awareness. You give a little shiver and pull the blanket closer. Tilting your head you notice a shadow forming on the creamy wall beside you. Shoulders slumped and head down it looks exhausted. Its tangled hair all out of place. You can almost hear its teardrops fall. It's not your shadow, so you look around the room to see if anyone else can claim it. No one else is there 

So many thanks go to Cata Londo , elliem , FantasyOtter12The Happy Hamster , Landofstories and amaryllis for there amazing reviews! I'm also so grateful for the encouraging comments I received!
word count-97
THIS IS NOT THE FINAL hehe :)

 

Message to Readers

OMG IM SORRY FOR POSTING THIS 10000 TIMES


Peer Review

The mood is set well. I like the slight horror movie aura in the writing.


There's a lot of adjectives used to set the mood, which definitely brings in a lot of attention. I believe that this is about a ghost with a sad past?


I think the idea of the story was a little confusing. So far, my interpretation is a ghost with a sad past and no justification.


You're very good at making your writing descriptive and pretty, as long as you get your point across more clearly, this piece will definitely have a good chance of doing well in the competition!


Reviewer Comments

Don't be afraid to edit this and re-publish this so many times! It shows that you're improving your writing, and keep up the good work! I'll try my best to see all your versions!