Run

PROMPT: Flash Fiction Competition 2020

Needles of sunlight fall around me, through the thick leaves. I am crouched, ears pricked and muscles tensed. The droning of the planes is broken by a shattering crash. The branches shiver; my hideout shields me from the blast.
The planes retreat; fainter, fainter, fainter ... gone.
Go now; it's clear. My feet smash into the forest ground as I run.
A cloud explodes, surrounding me; I am thrown upwards, flailing helplessly through the fog; flying blind, floating ...
My shoulder crashes into the floor; I'm coughing, rolling, groaning. Alive.
Keep going. To the border.
And I run on.

Message to Readers

are the sentences too blunt and does that take away from the story?

Peer Review

What drew you into this story? How did the writer pique your interest?

Writing a story in just 99 words is super hard, but I managed to grab onto the plot and sympathize with the nameless narrator. I love your descriptions - they're so vivid and eye-catching!

Flash fiction requires the writer to use the power of suggestion—planting an idea or question in the reader’s head without explaining fully. Where did the writer do this successfully?

From the "droning of the planes", the exploding cloud, the hideout, and the emphasis on the narrator's destination--the border, I was able to infer that the narrator is escaping his/her war-torn country and running to the border.

Were there any places where maybe too much was left unsaid, leaving you confused?

Nope, there weren't any places where I was confused! And don't worry about the sentences being too blunt--they really captured the moment of the narrator's flight.

What words of encouragement do you have for this writer as they continue drafting their story?

Keep working on the story! I love it and can't wait to see the final version!!

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