aloeg

United Kingdom

Romans 8:39
Writing
Lettering
Funny things

Joined May 2020

Message to Readers

are the sentences too blunt and does that take away from the story?

Run

August 5, 2020

PROMPT: Flash Fiction Competition 2020

5
Needles of sunlight fall around me, through the thick leaves. I am crouched, ears pricked and muscles tensed. The droning of the planes is broken by a shattering crash. The branches shiver; my hideout shields me from the blast.
The planes retreat; fainter, fainter, fainter ... gone.
Go now; it's clear. My feet smash into the forest ground as I run.
A cloud explodes, surrounding me; I am thrown upwards, flailing helplessly through the fog; flying blind, floating ...
My shoulder crashes into the floor; I'm coughing, rolling, groaning. Alive.
Keep going. To the border.
And I run on.

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2 Comments

  • Stone of Jade

    "Needles of sunlight fall around me, through the thick leaves..."
    That^^^ is so beautiful!!!! this whole piece is really good. you ask if the sentences are blunt: they are, but with the tone of excitement in this piece it fits really well. Good job!


    6 months ago

  • hi i'm jackson ;)

    oh wow. I like this a lot. I love the way you strung choppy sentences together and made it flow. its very good. keep writing my dude, youre amazing!


    6 months ago