Emi

United States

Christian
American
Biracial
Ravenclaw
Lunar
Rider of the Rohirrim
Narnian
Prydain citizen
District 7
Chef
Gardener
Baker
Bibliophile
Writer
Artist
Seamstress
Musician
Homeschooler
Romantic
Nerd
Archer
Rifler

Message from Writer

¡Hola a todos! My name is Emi and I love writing. I try to write positive, happy things to make people feel better or laugh, but you will find serious work here too. I try to keep away from anything depressing or angry-sounding because I think we have enough sad stuff in this world.

"I choose joy!"

Joined May 13, 2020

Thanks to all my followers from the United States, Qatar, India, Ireland, Australia, Belgium, Nigeria, South Africa, the United Kingdom, Brazil, Singapore, Puerto Rico, Sri Lanka, Maldives, Ukraine, and Canada! You guys are amazing.

How To Be Latina (as defined by American culture and media)

August 1, 2020

FREE WRITING

4
1. You must be part of an inner-city gang
Darn. Missed that boat since my family moved to the country. I don't think I'm mean enough either. And I can never understand slang and all that stuff. I hope this doesn't lose me too many points.
2. You must be on welfare
Never. Ever. Ever. I don't take cash from the government. Ever. No thank you, Big Brother. Gosh, I have a job...why do I have to take other people's tax money again?
3. You must steal other people's jobs
Uh...no? Look, it's not my fault if my employer thinks I'm more qualified than the average teenager? I don't even get what this means. The more people you have the more picky you can be about who you hire. It's a competitive market. That's the beauty of capitalism; you can hire the hard-working people and fire the lazy ones. So...I still don't get this. 
4. You must be from Mexico and eat tacos.
I love tacos. And Mexican food. But just cause I mark "Hispanic" on my SATs doesn't mean I hail from sunny Mexico. Try the Caribbean, people. Plus, the food's not as spicy. 
5. You must work in manual labor
Look at my dad. He works in a nice air-conditioned office looking at other people's taxes. Definitely not minimum wage. And while I'm doing manual labor now, it's only cause I haven't been to college yet. Sorry, I'm not going to meet that criteria once I get myself a degree.
6. You must also be lazy
Excuse me? I'd like to think I'm a pretty hard worker. I mean, I pretty much work every day but Sunday. I worked almost forty hours this week, which is the legal limit for my age. Not including gardening and studying for SATs and the ACT.
7. You must be passive
Ok, this might be the only criterium that might possibly come any near to fitting. At least on the outside. I might look cool as a cucumber, but I can be furious and nobody would know it.
8. You must also be sexy and promiscuous
Uh...no? I'm sorry, but no no no. Please don't look at me like that, it's not my fault I look this way. I don't even like wearing a bathing suit. I want to get a wetsuit to swim in cause I'm so self-conscious. I will never meet this criterium, and I'm a little insulted you expect me to just because of my ethnicity.
9. You must be hot-tempered
That seems a little contradictory. Maybe sometimes? I don't know. I'm pretty chill most of the time. Until you people start putting stereotypes on me. It's kind of irritating.
10. You must have many children
Okay, this is the only one that hits right on. I want tons of kids. More than the average American household, definitely. But that's just me. Everyone else in my family would be good with like four or less. 
11. You must be a criminal
Not right now, at least. The only illegal things I've done is brought a knife into a school (it was by accident; I forgot it was in my backpack) gone over the speed limit by about fifteen miles per hour, smuggled pretzels into a baseball game (their snack prices were ridiculous), sang a worship song in a public school and prayed for people in a public school (I don't know if that's illegal everywhere). So, yeah, so far nothing major. I might end up doing something illegal someday if they make it illegal to do some stuff I like doing, like shooting guns or bows or whatever. I try not to, however. Definitely never going to kill someone or steal. So, sorry, don't really match this one. 
12. You must wear tight low-cut clothing
Didn't you read the above notice. Not me. At all. I like military-style collars that go right up to my chin, thank you very much. I'd wear tight clothing more if I lost a little weight, but not like tight to the point of immodesty. I'm pretty conservative with my clothes. Please stop staring. 
13. You must come from a huge family
Fine. You got me. I guess anywhere over three kids is huge in the U.S.
14. You must have numerous kids at a young age
Are we talking teen pregnancy here or something? No. No no no. Not me. I'm not having kids till I get married, and no time before age twenty four or so. You're looking at the wrong Latina, go find my cousin or something.
15. You must work as a maid or housekeeper
I'm terrible at cleaning. You should see my room right now. It's a disaster. I'm off to college, and I don't think you can get a degree in housekeeping there. I do have to learn how to clean though if I ever want to have my mother over to my house someday.
16. You must be an immigrant
You're looking at a second-generation American here. Or whatever. My dad was born here too. I'm an immigrant from Heaven? Or more of a visitor.
17. You must only speak Spanglish or Spanish
Spanglish? Seriously? English was my first language. I've only now mastered Spanish enough to hold a conversation, and that was after ten years of Rosetta Stone and two weeks spent in a Spanish-speaking country. I still don't know all the vocabulary, and my grammar stinks.
18. You must speak English with an accent
Okay, you might get me there. But it's more of what I call a "homeschooler's" accent, because I haven't learned to speak like public school kids, who in my opinion all sound the same (no offense, public schoolers). I have the accent of my family's English, and my own accent that's a mix of Irish and southern and British and occasionally Spanish. It's weird, I know, but it comes from watching too many other-language films.
19. You must be exotic
What does this even mean? I like exotic foods and plants, but I figure I'm pretty ordinary. Besides wanting to go back and live in the 1700s. And being the only girl in my area who'd rather get an air soft gun than new clothes. I'm not some tropical fruit here, dudes.
20. You must be curvy
Why do you people seem so obsessed with my appeal? Leave me alone. You're kind of right on this one, but that's really none of your business how I look. Just happens to be in the genes. I'm done with this test.

Your Scores:
5/20
25 percent
YOU ARE NOT LATINA
What...but I thought...my dad...my abuela? Gosh, papi's going to be so mad that I failed.

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  • August 1, 2020 - 10:21pm (Now Viewing)

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5 Comments
  • Ren

    XD I love this, also the way your profile connects to all of this. It's kinda pretty comedic *claps*.
    Though to be serious for a second well done, break all the stereotypes.


    6 days ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Ohh that makes sense.


    12 days ago
  • SavannaC!

    Oh my gosh XD. The way you spun this was really funny. I love your reaction at the end. Good job! This was really well written!


    12 days ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    So cool! One thing though... What's a public school accent? I'm legitimately confused. Like I have a very diverse friend group in the respect, and I've never noticed a difference at all.


    13 days ago
  • acrosstheuniverse28

    A really creative way to showcase the hurtful, nonsensical stereotypes society seems to love so much. As a white girl, I found this very informative and I found myself thinking about how I've seen some of these stereotypes perpetuated in the media and what not, so thank you for opening my eyes even more! Keep speaking up and proving these stereotype wrong!


    13 days ago