Paisley Blue

United States

INFP-T
She/Her
Lesbian
Christian
Musician
Actor
Author
Dancer
Strives for kindness
Good at making goals, bad at following through
Previously known as EllaJoy
Proud member of the (unofficial) AHPU (Abnormal-Height Peoples' Union)

Message to Readers

Version two: sorry, forgot to make some small changes.

with the tip of his paintbrush, he catches a single tear

August 1, 2020

FREE WRITING

9
    my heart beats faster. pressure in my chest, then my throat. he glances up and then back down, not seeing the way my knuckles go white as i grip the chair. i focus on his paintbrush, desperate, delicate and dangerous. he never looks away from the canvas stretched across that thin wooden frame. how can that frame stay strong? how do i stay strong?
    the tears push against my eyes and my breath whooshes out of my lungs. i blink twice trying to keep the tears off of my face. i can’t move and i can’t cry and i can’t. my heart pounds, the beat for a song that has no melody. how do i stay strong?
    i falter and lose my smile. i can feel my face flush and he looks up and everything is lost as he does a double take.
    he wasn’t supposed to see.
    the tears roll down my cheeks now, it’s all i can do to not let out the ugly sob that is threatening to escape next. he stands and his eyes don’t leave me, don’t flick back to the canvas and i don’t know if i’m glad or not. he crouches beside me and i can’t look at him. instead, i look at his paintbrush. the tears are blurring my vision. 
    he reaches his hand and cups my face, his movements delicate and dangerous, painting without pigment or canvas. as i blink away the tears i see his paintbrush. 
    with the tip of his paintbrush, he catches a single tear and stands. i watch as he touches the canvas, and then he turns it to face me.
    i am smiling, but now a single tear is blurring the paint. wordlessly, he wraps his arms around me and then i don't have to be strong.
I don't really know what this is but I think I like it!
(lowercase intentional)

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  • August 1, 2020 - 7:21pm (Now Viewing)

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2 Comments
  • dovetrees

    wow, i love the mood of this piece! i was so curious throughout the whole thing wondering why they were crying but it's so beautiful that the painter hugged them at the end, and the expression here is so gorgeous! and the reveal of the actual painting was such a good ending! (also reply: thank you for your lovely comments! they really made my day :)


    13 days ago
  • Daisy + Sage

    ooooh this is so good! It’s really intriguing and captivating, and I didn’t quite know if the painter was good or bad until the end. The title got me in and each line held me there on the edge of my seat - the descriptions and the scene you created are so edgy and powerful! Even after I’ve finished reading it, I can’t stop thinking about it and asking questions (why was she crying? who was the painter to her? why was she being painted?). If you felt like it, I think it would be really great if you expanded this. I am definitely eager to read more!!
    p.s I love your new name!


    13 days ago