elliem

Canada

Apparently, I'm 17
Come to my feed for free hugs :)
Somebody run through castle ruins at midnight with me

Acting
Dancing
Singing
Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff
Petrichor
Soft girl/Dark academia mix
Virgo
ENFJ

WtW pixie

She/her

Message to Readers

My dark academia side is quaking

dried violets

August 10, 2020

FREE WRITING

11
dried violets
pressed between old, yellowed pages
and vanilla, sweet and cloying
the pen between my fingers
runs ink syrupy and dark
and it might be blood

we taste betrayal
gentle on our tongues
dissolving like cotton
and we savour it

ah, but the sharpest minds
descend from madness
remember that when you think
your latin lessons make you smart
bovis stercus, love

you breathed deep
and i thought you a violet,
petals dripping night
cunning, addictive
and i was but a daisy,
pearlescent blades leaning on you
with every ragged sigh

the light through the stained glass of the cathredal
burns a cerulean blue against my skin
my leather-bound journal frays from use
and the fury i murder the pages with,
coffee cup rings and fountain pen ink,
the cheap kind

i've lost my faith in you
so here i came
hoping to find my way
and still your face
drags me to the uncertain grey
of autumn
when you broke my world apart

i decided that day
i would take time to myself,
focus on me
but it's so difficult, mea amor
because it's always been you

so i collect the dried violets
and press them between the pages
one for every day i still think of you
and a daisy for every day i don't
i don't have any daises yet

i twiddle today's violet between my fingers
despite how it rips at my chest
for it died the moment i tore it from the ground
and even if it was mine,
purely mine,
forever mine,
it would soon dry
become another flower pressed deep
in the pages of my yellowed journal
warping my words
making me forget myself
just like you

the dried violets are such torture
which, i think, is why they remind me of you
which is why i love them so much
because they're you
the violets were always you
Mea amor, meaning "my love" in Latin. Bovis stercus, roughly translating to "bullshit" in Latin.

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  • August 10, 2020 - 11:29am (Now Viewing)

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9 Comments
  • ineffable

    Replying: Lol surprise? I don't need this account anymore so I figured I'd let the cat out of the bag.


    4 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    This is breathtaking, seriously, I think I have found my new favorite poem IN THE WORLD I'm going to go read it another five times now. I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!! <3 <3 <3


    4 months ago
  • erin!

    replying: thank you! im glad you like reading diary entries.
    also LOVE that you used latin in this poem, im kind of a latin nerd but also this piece is just lovely


    4 months ago
  • ek503

    woah this piece is beautiful! the descriptions and metaphors are all just lovely :)


    4 months ago
  • journal.scribbles

    Replying: It's cool that we have so much in common! I never really thought about my clothing style as dark academia, but now that you mention it, it does kinda give those vibes.


    4 months ago
  • journal.scribbles

    Violets for every day they think about their love and daisies for every day they don't... "and i was but a daisy / pearlescent blades / leaning on you / with every ragged sigh"... WHOA Every day they think about their love is a day they don't think about themselves! I'm so proud of myself for figuring out your genius metaphor! :)


    4 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    oh my gosh your work is so insanely beautiful and so..your own? wow your work is such an inspiration,youre so underrated
    the imagery..i cant jdkihkf


    4 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Ooh this is so dang cool! My favorite part is the 8th stanza; it's so specific yet relatable. The language and symbolism in this piece are just to die for.


    4 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    honestly this makes me feel like a professor who's secretly queer and goes to a conservative university where he spends his days in the library, pining. he writes love letters he'll never send, under a facade of confidence.
    basically, my inner dark academic has awoken. i love this vibe.


    4 months ago