Anne Blackwood

United States

Theatre kid
Disabled (chronically ill)
Suspected autistic
Highly Sensitive Person
XXFJ, Melancholic-Sanguine, ambivert

Joined 1/16/20

Message from Writer

Mom to FantasyOtter12, lochnessie, mindfruit, Rohan's Defender, (unofficially) rat in a hat, & all
Sis to happy butterfly
birthdaycandles & happygiggles are my apple juice Jesus sisters
(Kindness Krusader: Blueberry cotton candy)

My profile picture is my "personal crest" I designed and commissioned.

"you can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy"
~ Nightbirde

"my thoughts cry in verse"
~ (poem) by Anne Blackwood

"i streak the atmosphere with ink."
~ graffiti-streaked poetry (poem) by Paisley Blue

Anxiety must-reads:
And pray. That's the only reason I'm free now.

Day's End

August 1, 2020



I walk out the front door in the darkness of the night. There's a shard of anxiety trying to worm its way into this moment, but I do my best to dull the edges. Standing at the end of the cul de sac, I close my eyes and root myself in the feeling of my feet on the road and the stillness in the air.
It's quiet, yet I can still hear so many sounds milling about the space, passing each other in a ballet of the night. Distant cars rush on, but their roar seems hushed too, like even they know to be respectful of the silence.
I suppress a shudder as words like fear and phobia fiercely pound at the door of my heart. But I manage to contain their intrusive presence to a sliver of worry lurking in the corner.
On a whim, I hop up on the trunk of my dad's car. It's not as easy as I remember, but I suppose my ungainly toddler limbs have only gotten longer and more prone to clumsiness. After a second of indecision, I lay back and gaze up at the sky, peering past suburban light pollution to look up at the stars.
But even as I breathe deeply and immerse myself in my favorite time, I feel anxiety tugging at my mind and demanding to be seen. It does not belong in me. In an act of tentative defiance, I sing the first words that I can think of.
"It is well... with my soul"
Over and over, I softly sing the declaration into the night. If Horatio Spafford can write this in the midst of his agony, then I can make myself believe them.
And the more I sing, the more the words ring true. I let a small smile form on my lips, the kind that's meant just for me and my God.
This is about me facing my nyctophobia.


See History
  • August 1, 2020 - 12:07am (Now Viewing)

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  • Elizabeth Lewis

    This is awesome! God is kind :)

    about 1 year ago
  • Christy Wisdom

    Praise the Lord! This is such a beautiful piece :)

    about 1 year ago
  • mia_:)

    good job, anne! you describe the night so beautifully! i'm proud of you for facing your fears; that can't have been easy but you're so strong! love you so much! <3<3

    about 1 year ago
  • Tushar Mandhan

    It was so good to read. Some feelings are very special, facing and defeating fear is one of them.

    about 1 year ago
  • Paisley Blue

    The part where you begin to sing hit me out of nowhere... I can relate: I recently had to complete a challenge that was physically really hard for me, and as I did it the song lyrics "I can do all things, through christ who gives me strength. I dont have to be strong enough" ran through my head out of the blue and I feel like that was God's way of reassuring me. I know that's not the same but idk made me think of it. This is beautiful, and I love your writing!

    about 1 year ago
  • inanutshell

    a lovely portrait of such an intimate moment. love this, esp the first few lines. wishing you all the best w the nyctophobia <3

    about 1 year ago
  • Dmoral

    awww, bw

    about 1 year ago
  • Emi

    I love this! Especially the phrase "the ballet of the night." It sounds really creative and gorgeous!

    about 1 year ago
  • books4life

    This is so pretty and so vivid! :)

    about 1 year ago
  • elliem

    Wow. Beautiful piece, and written in a lovely way that is both open and personal at the same time. I love the comparison of ballet and the night.

    about 1 year ago