Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
In the area that I grew up, this fruit isn't one that you can find, but your descriptions painted such a clear picture in my head that I had no need to look it up. You could consider adding a location/country to your descriptions of the harvest if you wanted to give more context to the piece, but I'm sure it would be equally personal and heartfelt without - while many people in the past have connected with nature, this comparison was especially unique and had a great story alongside it.
I enjoyed the family connections mentioned in the piece, having your Mama and your brother (or any people who are close to you) as part of the narrative is an integral part of defining who YOU are (people are often shaped by those around them)
Some advice that I take from many other writers is to be intentional in everything that you include within a story: "Every sentence must do one of two things - reveal character or advance the action" Kurt Vonnegut and "A short story must have a single mood and every sentence must build towards it.” Edgar Allen Poe. You have found a unique item in nature to relate yourself to, and have endless amounts of beautiful imagery that draw a reader in - technical decisions are often as important as creative ones so just something to keep in mind as you write.
Hello Harzi, from a Senior Peer Reviewer!
I can tell from this piece that you are a natural storyteller: throughout the piece, I could sense mystery and read each line carefully trying to figure out what would happen. The title stood out, I felt the need to know what was meant by melons having cherries.
I would encourage you to keep using short and long sentences, as well as one-line paragraphs or separating dialogue to keep reader's attentive, you've done this really well already in a couple of places already.
I am fond of the way you introduced the melon before yourself or making any connections to yourself, the piece becomes more focused on yourself as I read on (and when re-read, I discover more things that can be compared to a person), readers begin to realize that it's not just about a fruit.
Great response to the prompt, happy writing!