dovetrees

United Kingdom

"ad astra per aspera."
16
baking, swimming, & doctor who and history enthusiast
infj, hufflepuff, est. july 2020

Message to Readers

thank you for all of your comments and feedback on my previous post!! you all are legendary :) let me know if you want a comment on any of your pieces and i'll do my best!!

the moonboy | ver. 2

July 30, 2020

FREE WRITING

13

mangata - a swedish word for the reflection of the moon on water, the sea. a shimmering road that stretches far beyond the horizon. a road for the moonboy to run, jump, and skip over.
                                                                                                   to trip
                                                                                                             and fall on, and stand back up.
                                             
                                                       the
                                              over          clouds
the adored moonboy who hops                           and waves to the stars, happy and amicable and seemingly alone.
but he's not. 

the moonboy speaks to the moon in the language of the stars, guessing the secrets of the sun and singing the ballad of cassiopea as his voice rings out through the galaxy. he is admired by many, for he is the giver of joy.

the shooting stars fly for him, hurtling through the sky as their silver tails shine. and for
just
one
second
,
everything is silent. everyone sits in shared silence to admire the natural beauty of the night sky.

and then he walks along the road of moonlight on the sea, awaiting the sunrise and his next adventure through the stars. he says 'good day!' to the moon while they both part ways; until the next sunset, where he wakes with a smile. 

the world is peaceful and calm, as the moonboy wishes on jupiter's moons; one wish for each to increase his odds,
for one day, he will meet the maker of his dreams. 
(ignore: 281018) hello!! i have rewritten this piece to try to improve it :)  this is my first time using this kind of format, so any feedback is golden! once again, i am so grateful for all of your kind comments! :) the reason for 'jupiter's moons', by the way is that jupiter has so many!! the moon hoarder of the planets haha - also, expect a part two at some point... 
(original piece can be found here

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  • July 30, 2020 - 2:43pm (Now Viewing)

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7 Comments
  • black_and_red_ink

    I love the changes you made to the format!


    3 months ago
  • birthdaycandles

    Wow what a beautiful word to open the piece with! I’ve been trying to learn the basics of Swedish over quarantine, and it’s such a beautiful language (also very difficult!). I love all the diction you’ve used relating to space and the solar system, it’s very fascinating, and it makes the piece feel like a very other-worldly read! Very well done :)


    3 months ago
  • Wicked!

    This is such a pretty piece! I especially love "the moonboy speaks to the moon in the language of the stars, guessing the secrets of the sun and singing the ballad of cassiopea as his voice rings out through the galaxy." :)


    3 months ago
  • Emi

    This is gorgeous! I love how the words "jump" in the third paragraph. I'm envisioning this as a children's book with lovely illustrations; it's so good!
    Also, I love your quote in your Message to Readers. I know where it's from.


    3 months ago
  • rainandsonder

    ahh i love the personification of the moonboy here! agree with elliem that this is so dreamlike, your imagery here is so pretty, and i will keep an eye out for a prospective part two!


    3 months ago
  • elliem

    This is so gorgeous! I love the formatting so much. This whole piece feels quite dream-like.


    3 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    ahh, this is such a lovely, warm piece. the lines "the moonboy speaks to the moon in the language of the stars, guessing the secrets of the sun and singing the ballad of cassiopea as his voice rings out through the galaxy. he is admired by many, for he is the giver of joy." just so pure, and the way you tie in subtle metaphors and stunning imagery is amazing!
    replying: aw thank you! and the way you described my style is so insightful and accurate. in a weird way, even though you're relatively new to wtw, it honestly feels like you've been here forever <3 :)


    3 months ago