elliem

Canada

Apparently, I'm 17
Come to my feed for free hugs :)
Somebody run through castle ruins at midnight with me

Acting
Dancing
Singing
Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff
Petrichor
Soft girl/Dark academia mix
Virgo
ENFJ

WtW pixie

She/her

Message to Readers

Whoops. This got increasingly more and more personal until the end was basically just ranting about my life and angsty feelings. Yikes?

Have a lovely day/night. <3

eight-letter love stories *Minor TW: mention of mental health and panic attacks*

July 29, 2020

FREE WRITING

6
i.

eight-letter love stories don't exist;
three words are three words,
just ink staining another paper,
i tell myself.
no matter how many times i write
my own eight-letter love stories
all over the page
all over my mind
all over my walls
all over my broken heart
i still try to convince myself of their falsehood

ii.

and they lived happily ever after is a cruel trick
another ghost story to frighten us with
because for a moment, we believed it
and i'm still working through my own once upon a time

iii.

squeeze my heart with gold-stained fingers
because midas' touch is so desirable
except gold is metal and metal is cold
so why do you really want it?
broken poets write words thick with honey
and oh, you told such sweet lies
so here's my eight-letter love story
or what's left of it, i suppose

iv.

i see happy couples in the street
and wonder how that could be possible
because all romance has brought me is heartbreak
thanks for teaching me that, by the way
not

v.

i love you
i love you
loved you
damn it, i still love you
can't you see that?
those eight-letter love stories are so dangerous, darling
take them out of my hands
because i feel like atlas under their weight, and them the world
and it's not a very nice feeling

vi.

i want you to hug me again
to hold me like that time we cried together
and you said we're broken and that's okay
because we're broken together
and the night i called you in my panic
when the world turned black
and closed in on me
and my breath caught in my throat
and all i could do was hug my knees to my chest
and pray i'd be okay
you knew how to calm me
with your honeysuckle voice
i wished you were there to hold me then, too
and i could stain your shirt with my tears
as my body shook with silent sobs
like we did that day
i never had the courage to tell you what i cried about
because you'd only worry for me
please don't worry for me
i'm okay
i'm okay
i love you
i'm not okay
i wish those eight-letter love stories were real
For those of you who don't know from my angsty love poems in March and April, I really liked one of my best guy friends. I told him in February. (Which took a lot of confidence on my part.) He was super nice about it and told me he wanted to stay friends, but he got super adorable and shy and awkward (which of course helped the situation. *Sarcasm.*) So, I thought quarantine helped me get over him.

Ha. What a joke.

And now I like him again because we've been spending the past few days texting each other non-stop and he's oblivious af so he probably doesn't know I like him so that's ok. Anyway. How do you get over someone?

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  • July 29, 2020 - 8:04pm (Now Viewing)

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6 Comments
  • Anne Blackwood

    Oh gosh I literally just went through this exact situation. So I should be able to help but I'm so freaking clueless and it was inhumanely hard to be finished with? But it sounds like you've got a really good friend in him like I did so I can say that it's gonna be okay. It's a pain in the butt but it'll be okay. Also this piece is AMAZING. I love how you said "eight letters" instead of the somewhat cliche "three words".


    4 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    "squeeze my heart with gold-stained fingers
    because midas' touch is so desirable " ackk ellie, you write angsty love poems so beautifully.
    and i def think Jason said it best, good luck with it, dear! :)


    4 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    oh my gosh your work us beautiful!
    also im sorry about what what happened,but atleast youre still friends:)
    (sorry i have no advice)


    4 months ago
  • inanutshell

    same as @Jason_claire:) , a lot of getting over someone involves just feeling all those terrible emotions. think that's the best antidote that can help you eventually move on from those feelings. or i find that having some distance and time apart from the person also helps, altho if he's a friend i understand why that's harder to do. either way, i wish you all the best <3


    4 months ago
  • Century Friend

    Replying: Thank you for the comment on my piece! And I love this, especially the line, "broken poets write words thick with honey" – it leaves such a strong image and also has so much meaning packed into it. I hope the situation that this is about turns out okay, and if not, remember things always turn back around :)


    4 months ago
  • Jason_claire:)

    Normally I figure out the person I fell in love with was a jerk and I'd leave it at that. For me, it's a lot of depression/angry music blasting away and sitting alone wallowing in my sorrow. If that doesn't work, then I give my deepest appologies and hope you feel better and start a new chapter in this not-as-perfect-as-I-imagined life. (Sorry, that wasn't positive at all; you're probably scowling at me right now...)


    4 months ago