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help girl, i feel a different heartbeat inside my chest.
50~ Sept. 2020

Message to Readers

40 is a lovely number, isn't it? if i get to 50 i might do a thing- its not a big number, but it means a lot.

but you don't remember

July 31, 2020


you are a survivor-
or so they tell you, when you wake up.
you can't quite remember.
'there was an accident,' they say above
gentle beeps from heart monitors and scents of
sterilized sheets. a woman hands you
a crumpled photo of five smiling people, illuminated
by sunlight and laughter. one of them is
you. but the others...?

'there was an accident,' they repeat.
they point to the others. 'your friends, they...'
the word rings in your ear, curling beneath
confusion and anxiety. were these people
your friends? 
'...passed away in the accident...'
squint harder at your 'friends', try to remember,
try to grieve for these strangers- 
'...miraculously, you were the only survivor, albeit with...'
you feel nothing, for the fatalities of
these people you 'knew', you tried,
you really did.
'a severe concussion... possible memory loss...'

forgotten history whispers secrets under your
cheekbones; you want to mourn the tragedy-
but you don't remember why.
kinda inspired by breath of the wild? i doubt there are many gamers on here, but the story in that game has a sort of tragic beauty if you come to think of it. someone living in the aftermath of a tragedy they don't remember and apparently failed to stop- being forced to avenge a wasted kingdom and fallen friends that they only remember through short flashbacks, who died trying to stop the that same tragedy 100 years ago. (well link died too but not for very long. which brings up another point- whos allowed to die and who is allowed to live?) okay im done about that thanks for reading my ugly writers block poetry, i might actually make this good later.


See History

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  • Cici'sTimes

    This poem perfectly describes the opening scenes of the game. I would totally read your next work on BotW.

    4 months ago
  • naomi ling

    spectral!! my lovely internet bsf. how are you? i've been frighteningly inactive on here but i'll pick up the slack, i promise. also this is such a beautiful piece omg

    4 months ago
  • sunny.v

    congrats on 40, dearest!

    4 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    oh this is so beautiful,but so painful.it hurt my heart.lovely work as always.
    also congrats on 41! you deserve it,and i cant wait to watch and see more writers discovering you.and of course 40 is a milestone<3

    4 months ago
  • inanutshell

    oh wow this is writer's block? damn, this is brilliant, especially "forgotten history whispers secrets under your/cheekbones"

    also congrats on 40 (and eventually 50)! love your stuff & cannot believe i never followed you so let me rectify that real quick

    4 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    replying:oh thank you so much<3
    lol sometimes i cant write for a week and then like for 2 days i can write a few pieces.and the idea usually comes from like one random line.
    but trust me,im also struggling,im getting a bit anxious now,i feel as though i have to improve my writing so much more.because i feel as though all my pieces are the same.soo ya now im having a mini breakdown

    4 months ago
  • G.Joy

    Math Pun (of my own invention): What did the Mathematician say to his naughty parrot? Bad "Polly-nomeals" for you! (Get it? Cause... polynomials... ok i'll show myself out :D)

    4 months ago
  • G.Joy

    Wow I really liked this! I do see where you would get the Breath of the Wild inspiration from, but I think this is just a very good way to not only represent memory loss, but also brain fog in a way.
    Very good description! I loved it.

    4 months ago
  • bellairet

    "ugly writers block poetry"...? What? Come on, this is incredible. Premise- deep and tragic. Execution- perfect, your verbs and the way you structure the phrases/sentences is something else! The last stanza was beautiful and hit especially hard too.

    4 months ago
  • løne wølf

    i. freaking. love. this. the dialogue that gets put in perfect places throughout the poem is so amazing! the flow is also stunning, and so is the word choice! overall, a freaking GORGEOUS poem, amazing job! <3

    4 months ago