United States

"the audience is only safe when the story isn't about them."

they/them - probably listening to sufjan stevens

Message from Writer

an important piece by outoftheblue- https://bit.ly/3dBxv5r

black lives matter & pride is over but the fight for lgbt+ rights is year round.

bio quote is from the magnus archives

aug 2019 // aug 2020

July 29, 2020


i'm a swarm, i'm static, i'm drifting awake at 3AM with
next door's TV on and the voice of a soccer game
announcer weeping distorted through the walls. i roll
onto my side and the world groans feverish. the bedsheets
are black oil, sticking to my feather-cold skin;
the ceiling hits boiling point, melts and
tastes like plaster. i roll onto my back and the
room splinters loudly. 

warm tortillas cinnamon french toast sizzling 
bacon ripe avocado food that makes kaleidoscope
eyes twist with color & taxidermy shops and death
smelling soft like fresh soil & the art
museum like cavers shining a flashlight
through my insides & the way my shoes sound 
hitting the tiles in an empty office supply
store & don't you want to sing don't you want to 
run isn't this something even if it terrifies you?

and despair grips my throat with blushing 
knuckles. and we're manically silent. and the crescent moon
wanes to dawn. and you're home but the basement's
reworked and everyone's cut their hair and
who's gonna stay up talking till midnight
anyway? lately i wake from dreams with a residual
taste in my mouth. like i forgot to press "record" on
the videotape. i turn on my bedside table and tell
myself: it is august. soon it will be september. then
october, then november, and then christmas and new years. it's
meant to be comforting. 


and i wake with hot glue pouring upwards
from the floor and the TV on in the next room; 
haul my feet on the floor and the world flips 
like a coin. i wake again in bed, facing the other
wall, silence toying the air with a question:
well, is this it yet? 

somehow august to august feels more significant than january to january for me, probably because the school years are so much more defined and separate than the actual years. anyway, last night i had one of those weird feverish things where you keep drifting in and out of sleep and waking up from one dream only to be in another, and it reminded me of something from august of last year, so i ended up writing this (or rather, re-writing things from old journals) even though it's not entirely august yet. would love feedback on it! 


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  • Dmoral

    review submitted!

    4 months ago
  • Eblinn

    this is so wonderfully unique! I love it. Such an abundance of images and feelings.

    4 months ago
  • dovetrees

    this is such a cool piece and idea! the beginning really hooked me in, and throughout the rest of the piece i felt like i was falling in and out of the dreams with you. 'and despair grips my throat with blushing knuckles,' this is such an amazing line, with really cool imagery, i really love what you did there. i really loved this!

    4 months ago
  • inanutshell

    oooh i love this! especially the line "lately i wake from dreams with a residual / taste in my mouth. like i forgot to press "record" on / the videotape" bc this whole piece feels so dream-like, esp with the whole waking up thing throughout (i'm not making much sense here but let's pretend i am - hopefully you get what i mean haha) and that ending! "i wake again in bed, facing the other / wall, silence toying the air with a question: / well, is this it yet?" wow wow wow.

    honestly the only feedback i have is that maybe the 2020 July bit could be longer! more details/elaboration on why it feels separate from the rest of the poem might make this more impactful, altho this is already pretty damn great.

    4 months ago
  • Century Friend

    Wow, this is really something. I love the whirlwind of images. Overall it has a sort of chaotic feel to it, and it reminded me a bit of my own brain. The line, "isn't this something even if it terrifies you?" really got me. Also, thank you so much for your comment on my piece! :)

    4 months ago
  • rainandsonder

    oh my god i just realized i wrote "i turn on my bedside table" instead of "i turn on my bedside lamp", i read this piece over like fifty times before publishing and somehow let that slip, lol sorry guys just overlook that.

    4 months ago
  • ek503

    awesome piece!! I love how you captured that turbulent dream-like feeling, and all of your descriptions are just beautiful :)

    4 months ago