Peer Review by Mr. Colin E. (United States)

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questions i ask myself when i'm trying to sleep

By: Possum The Amateur


FREE WRITING

why are the lions in the savannah
kings of the jungle?
what are the trees trying to say
with their whispers?
would dinosaurs prefer their bones
to be in museums or in the dirt?
do aliens hate us cause
we leave dead astronauts in space?

 

this is very random cause i'm very bored at the moment and i don't want to do my homework. enjoy. :)

Peer Review

What surprised and delighted me about this piece was the overall philosophical theme of it. For instance, questioning why lions are "king of the jungle" when they are fiercer animals out there and how aliens must feel because we "leave dead astronauts in space?" due to our failed space missions. Despite this being a random piece, it really makes you think.


I noticed that you wrote this in all lowercase letters. Was this intentional or was this just meant for this piece? Also, while you do a good job at adding in these provoking, philosophical thoughts, perhaps you could add in your own contradicting thoughts, such as to "would dinosaurs prefer their bones be in museums or in the dirt?" to really pull the readers in? However, this is merely a suggestion and you do not have to take it.


Reviewer Comments

Hello Amateur Possum, it's your friendly neighborhood Senior Peer Reviewer and I very much enjoyed reviewing this piece of yours. Despite being a random piece and short, it's got a lot of good potential and very philosophical stuff in it, fascinating. While there are some things in need of improvement it's still a really good piece. On a more personal note, I don't believe you're an amateur because anyone who can write this good has to have talent. Nice work!