Dmoral

United States


est. 2018
she/her | junior
semi active; chaotic life.
published writer + classics enthusiast.
obsessed with name titled poetry & songs.

Message to Readers

remember this from the past (you guys will never see the second draft-ahahaha)? woah, this got deep fast. favorite lines anyone?

teenage pregnancy: unfiltered

September 30, 2020

FREE WRITING

27

you started taking irony like pills; yes, that’s when it started. life’s too short and you knew that, so when boys started thinking you were cute that was everything to you. many mistakes were made but that’s life (or so you tell yourself) and so the day you find out, you think, how was i suppose to know it’d come to this?

mother hissed the words at you, ”you were better off dating a plant” and they’re funny in plain sight, but hurts when it hits at 3 am you start silently crying in your room. and you curse at everything when you realize your best friend was right, how changing the locks on your heart, was the truest thing to do at time. but now, it’s too late. so there goes your future dreams, though, there wasn’t much anyway; ’cause you never saw the point in getting a degree of something that doesn’t quite exist besides on a piece of paper they print just for the occasion of your graduation (or so was the thinking your father forced upon you). 

perhaps what’s hurting the most (besides being entirely alone), is knowing your family’s deserted you (mentally of course, because they can’t risk bad publicity or court). like when you run to your cousin but she screams at you: we can’t be the cousins we were five years ago when there’s a kid and motherhood reminding you of the life you decided to live. and forever’s an awfully long time when your family’s condemned you to live in the devil’s land.

and you know better than to think the father’s name (though you do it often enough anyway), since he left you before you even thought about what your options were. yet, part of yourself is too blame too. protection can be a two-way streak and you thought things wouldn’t end up like this; oh, your favourite words were: i thought of him as temporary, can you blame me? but darling, how you’ll forever have a part of him tied to a part of you, in the form of another being to add to this mess you call life.

so here you are, lost and broken and discard and just damn scared. but nonetheless, you kept the baby, because if there was one thing you knew how to do was praying she’ll have a better life than you. that’s the one thing you’ll take to the grave with dignity, but in the form of words that’ll sit on your dead lips: she’ll be something, and make up for the nobody i ended up being. every second after her birth you’ll remember to tell her this, it’s the one thing about parenthood you figured out how to do. ’cause even if there’s no right thing in parenting, there’s most definitely a wrong and you did that. though, you’re sorry, and you constantly tell her that.
you better not be assuming i'm pregnant, just fyi.
anyway, my mom had me as a teen so i thought i'd shine some light on it a bit. (and no not all of this is true to me or my mom, but some of it is to somebody.) this is kind of my attempt (once again), on writing a piece about things i never seem to find & read (remember my piece, scoliosis?). teen pregnancy seems like one of those things you hear and think about, but never think you'll experience and won't ever properly understand. so yeah, here you go!

feedback very much appreciated!

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  • September 30, 2020 - 12:44pm (Now Viewing)

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12 Comments
  • queenie

    i am much too late, but how have I not already seen this? this is amazing!


    about 2 months ago
  • Wisp

    HOW HAVE I NOT LIKED THIS!? I remember reading it a couple months (? Weeks perhaps?) back and it still rings with a truth so beautifully told here. How is that star not yellow? I'm disappointed in myself. BUT!
    "mother hissed the words at you, ”you were better off dating a plant” and they’re funny in plain sight, but hurts when it hits at 3 am you start silently crying in your room."
    "like when you run to your cousin but she screams at you: we can’t be the cousins we were five years ago when there’s a kid and motherhood reminding you of the life you decided to live."
    "but darling, how you’ll forever have a part of him tied to a part of you, in the form of another being to add to this mess you call life."
    "that’s the one thing you’ll take to the grave with dignity, but in the form of words that’ll sit on your dead lips: she’ll be something, and make up for the nobody i ended up being."
    I feel like half of this comment is just me quoting your lines, so let's make up for that by dousing you in compliments and praise I so desperately have for you! I adore that you touched on a subject that is so vital as teen pregnancy, because people think of it as a curse, a wrongdoing, but what they're forgetting (as they turn their backs away in distaste) is that the women are forever binded to this living entity. Yes, they could leave them for adoption or they could choose to abort the baby, but they'll never escape that reality of this child being inside of them. They'll never be able to forget the feeling of life growing within them, as someone is being born in a home they thought their own. You're going to make me cry because there's just so much emotion and depth and pain and healing in this piece. Gosh, your writing is so gorgeously woven.


    about 2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Wow, this is so beautiful and terrible. I am moved. You constantly amaze me with your writing!


    4 months ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    kajsdhflkahjsd i really did get here too late but yeah. your prose is just so so free flowing. the best i could describe it is as flowing water, able to change from being a soothing stream to a powerful waterfall in less than a ripple. you were probably right in saying: "and no not all of this is true to me or my mom, but some of it is to somebody." and i'm so glad you decided to write this, especially since yeah, you do hear about teen pregnancy, but it probably isn't explored as much as it should be. this was a fantastic piece, and an especially wonderful first draft. <333333 love ya!


    4 months ago
  • spurtsofdarkness

    replying on the fragment piece: ooh actually that is a piece which i wrote a long time ago. back when i wrote cringy poetry on ig, yk the one which had the aa bb cc rhyme scheme. but it was pretty useful since i started with rhyme as my main aim. so even if i don't personally like any of my previous poems, they helped me get my basics right!

    replying on the paradise piece: this is like, actually the only piece from that era, that i actually like. i like to think of that piece as a turning point, a renaissance for me, after which i started writing what i classify as 'poetry', so.
    also, thanks so much for taking time to go through my portfolio. it means so, so much. <3


    4 months ago
  • dovetrees

    wow, this is so heartfelt and, as you say, unfiltered. 'and forever’s an awfully long time when your family’s condemned you to live in the devil’s land,' is such an amazing line! it really highlights the feeling of hopelessness for the mother due to her family's lack of support. an amazing idea also, i loved it!


    4 months ago
  • sunny.v

    "’cause even if there’s no right thing in parenting, there’s most definitely a wrong and you did that." - favorite lines because they're just so heart wrenching and...broken. i think you're right: a lot of us think we will never understand this! i can only imagine what its like, and you write it out so visceral and real and hopeless for us. 2nd person pov is def suited for this piece. awesome work!!


    4 months ago
  • inanutshell

    "forever’s an awfully long time when your family’s condemned you to live in the devil’s land." damn, for a first draft this is fantastic. this isn't an often talked about topic and i'm glad this piece sheds some light on the internal conflict teenage pregnancy brings about for the teenagers. the last part especially, "that’s the one thing you’ll take to the grave with dignity, but in the form of words that’ll sit on your dead lips: she’ll be something, and make up for the nobody i ended up being." is brutal in the most emotionally honest way

    also not to be that person but maybe "two-way streak" might be a typo, think it might be "two-way street"! either way, loved your use of that expression!


    4 months ago
  • CrazyNinjaKid

    Damm girl this is dark.

    I'll try do a review on this!


    4 months ago
  • EliathRose

    My favorite line has to be "and forever’s an awfully long time when your family’s condemned you to live in the devil’s land" just because it rings true for so many scenarios and I feel that many can relate to it. This is such a beautiful piece!


    4 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    "we can’t be the cousins we were five years ago when there’s a kid and motherhood reminding you of the life you decided to live." The contrasts between the lighter aspects of this piece and the somewhat darker/more meaningful themes is so effortless, this is def gonna be one of those pieces to come back to.


    4 months ago
  • Karma's_Coming

    “she’ll be something, and make up for the nobody i ended up being.” I think that’s such a hopeful and yet sad line. You managed to balance those in such a beautiful way, so sweet on you.


    4 months ago