A Certain Type of Decisive

United States

Just your unfriendly neighborhood disaster, bringing you bi-weekly updates from the bottom of my own shoe!

Message to Readers

You gotta be joshin' me-- yankin' my chain-- pullin' my leg-- puttin' wool over my eyes-- this must be some sort of mass deception, an illusion of the grandest kind-- this is butter?!

Hogwash and Moonshine // Chapter 1

August 1, 2020


    Imagine, for a moment, a shark. Not a cartoon, but a living, breathing, thinking shark. It could do these things, but don't imagine it doing them. It's alive, but disconnected from everything. It has no food in it's stomach, no memories, no parents or offspring, no native sea, nothing. It is still in all it's functions. 
    Imagine it's skin, smooth, grey, rubber-- it is disgusting, no? But it's not wrong, just alive in a way that evolution has warned you not be. Listen to your instincts, they are whispering something to you. I wish I could tell you their secrets, but alas, I do not know. Imagine the bones, smooth, grey, solid-- just like yours. The blood, too. It is red, it is stagnant in your mind, but if you were to free the shark from your grasp, you know it would flow throughout the body like the contents of a water-bottle in a middle school classroom in 2016. It would splash against the sides, desperate to escape, desperate to stop, but moving nonetheless. Imagine teeth-- there are so many teeth. I don't think you're imagining quite enough teeth on your shark, there are more than that. They pile up, more rows than you might find on any living shark. They are white, but they are more than white. They are glowing with bio-luminescence, a bright, almost blinding, smile.
    The shark, think of it in layers. Tissue, blood, bones, teeth-- imagine just the head. Not like it's been decapitated, but as if that's all there ever was of this shark. Imagine it more round-- remove the eyes and nostrils, they aren't needed. Even more round, a perfectly round shark. It has become an orb, a shark orb-- a shorb, if you will. Skin, blood, bone, glowing teeth-- each layer in consistent all the way around.
    Keep the thickness the same as you imagine the shorb, but larger. No, even larger than that. This shark orb is no longer comparable to a shark, it is not comparable even to the ocean. Not the earth or any of the nations could be reasonably measured with the same unit as the shorb. Yet, the teeth remain the same size, the skin the same thickness-- there is just so much more.
    Put the shorb aside, you will need it later.

    Now imagine another orb, but this one is less alive. It's paper mâché, in fact. Black construction paper and black paste, all mixed up and put over a balloon to dry. But the balloon is gone and there is no proof it ever was. There is no way to prove this balloon was constructed, it only exists within your mind. This sphere is also large, but not as large as the shorb. It is black-- it is so black and dark that it is terrifying to look at. Of course, it is only construction paper, but it seems unnatural, it looks like it would absorb light if it could, but isn't powerful enough. It will never be powerful enough.
    The radius of the paper mâché sphere should be the same, subtracting the thickness of the skin, blood, bone, and most of the teeth. It is large, is it not? It must've taken a lot of construction paper. Since the teeth are irregular and some are longer than others, take the average length of the teeth and add that to the list of lengths you are subtracting to get the radius of the other sphere. 

    Combine the two orbs, the smaller, paper mâché orb inside the larger, shark textured orb. Since some of the teeth are longer than average, they poke holes through the delicate paper mâché. Imagine yourself, standing on the inside of this ultimate orb. You are small, so small in comparison to the rest of this. You see, distantly, through the dark, the tiniest hints of light. You can scream-- it would only each around you. You are alone.

    It is beautiful.

    And you decide each point of light is a point of articulation. You want to connect them, to draw pictures between them. You want to make meaning of the nothingness, the randomness of how long shark teeth are. Some part of you decides that they know the future and define your personality, another part of you thinks they are what you will become when you die. Some part of you seeks companionship in them-- you tell them your desires and your heartbreak. They do not respond-- they do not do anything. They are only shark teeth, after all. And yet, you think they understand you. In their bony, thoughtless nature, you see yourself. 

    And it's just like stars.

   I'm your host, Sunflower McGee, and this has been Hogwash and Moonshine. Tune in next week for another guided thought experience-- maybe it'll be deep, maybe it'll just be weird! I sure don't know.
Y'all I'm losing my mind, but maybe it'll make a fun series?? The idea is sort of like Bob Ross, but instead of showing how to paint a landscape, I show how to think a weird thing that I came up with right as I was about to fall asleep. This is my first planned series, I'm not sure how far it'll go, but I'll see how it goes. They aren't actually on a weekly basis, but i's not like I post biweekly either and I never planned on doing that. I just like how it sounds and the series is two words for lying so idk what you even expected.


See History
  • August 1, 2020 - 3:08pm (Now Viewing)

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  • AbiJoy

    Aw gee. They hung up. I guess I'm a loyal SHORBite now. Y'got me.

    4 months ago
  • AbiJoy

    Hello?! 911? I'd like to report a SHORB CULT-- No. --Yes, that's what I said. It's like... A cult? sh-SHORB. Like shark orb? --Like stars? Hello? Are you still there? ... 911?!

    4 months ago
  • Bhavya's Treasure

    I'm not sure if I got this completely but yes I enjoyed it for sure :) and yeah, I tried to do the math you've mentioned XD

    4 months ago
  • Jasmine khawar

    Replying: Thanks :)

    4 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    I love your lunatic mind

    4 months ago