rat in a hat

United States

i'm pretentious and annoying but i think that's okay, i own two lava lamps. i love spider-man, ABBA, anything muppet-related, bill and ted, and john everett millais' rendition of ophelia. i hate sitcom laugh tracks.

chaotic good

Message from Writer

love your friends and be as stupid as you can be <2

ikea armchairs and a blinking light you fall asleep to

July 24, 2020



life is taking too long

i am weary of sitting in the same three chairs every day
i am weary of watching the same videos and never speaking to anyone but my mother and my father
i am tired of this,
it has been 382 days and it isn’t over yet
someone will see me, one day, and they will remember not all but most everything
will i be the loss in their minds or will it be the memory?
would they be happier if they continued to forget me?
i ask, but i know
after all, i would be

i get older every day, and for what?
to sit in the same three chairs and never open my mouth outside of my room?
to chase my own tail and bite my tongue and break all the glasses in the cupboard?
you do not taste the blood, the metal,
it is not in your gums like it is in mine
it hasn’t been beaten in yet
but i am here to tell you things get worse, and they get better, and then they stop “getting” any kind of way entirely
you won’t understand,
i don’t understand,
but i continue living and i cannot fathom why
i am older than i was yesterday, but if i cannot remember yesterday at all
does it matter?

then again, i’ve never remembered wednesdays
or thursdays, for that matter
another piece of evidence that life is taking too long.


See History
  • July 24, 2020 - 1:20pm (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

  • Paisley Blue

    The comment rainandsonder made is exactly what I was going to say. This blew me away. The feeling of forgetting days, but it doesn't matter because they dont matter anyways? That is a feeling I'm all too familiar with. All I can say is hold on. Someday, something will change. Believe in life and maybe it'll start being believable.

    4 months ago
  • rainandsonder

    "but i am here to tell you things get worse, and they get better, and then they stop “getting” any kind of way entirely" !! that hit hard for me.

    4 months ago