United Arab Emirates

to love or to not love

avatar: self portrait as a tehuana by frida kahlo

(riley, you go girl!)

Message to Readers

footnotes uwu.

would really really really appreciate feedback, thank you so much.

to estha, the god of small things (part 1)

July 25, 2020



karunam (pathos)

I was 13 when I first met you, static as boys should be
while I coiled like a fetus in my bathtub,
watching everything I’d ever known  
rally into drains.
I’m stiff except for the cerulean streams of history that flow beneath my skin.
I’ve never been less lonely or more content,
Nestled between ceramic and public water, filling sentences
With words you never said.

Led Zeppelin-
Drown the air,
Drown the notes of my parents contending
Over bone-shaped childhoods,
Erode my breath between boulders of
I bled dry into what I perceived you to be. I did not cry but I hoped you’d still hold me,
The way fiction sometimes creeps into your shirt.
In cold, distant wheezes.
this is a part of an awfully long poem i'm working on, based on the Navarasangal (or the nine facial emotions) of Kathakali (a form of classical dance and storytelling native to Kerala, India). Esthappen from Arundhati Roy's 'God Of Small Things', to whom the poem is addressed, is a very important character to me for various reasons. i'll be uploading the other parts soon.


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  • July 25, 2020 - 9:04am (Now Viewing)

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  • spurtsofdarkness

    and oh my god i cannot agree more with @youknowme, you deserve a million more followers, and i WOULD make a hundred more accounts only to follow you if i could.

    14 days ago
  • youknowme

    also, dude, why are you so underrated? i see shitty accounts on here who don't even post oc having like 130 followers, and idek why authors like you don't get the spotlight, i mean your work is god-level

    20 days ago
  • youknowme

    replying: aah so glad. also, your work is magnificent

    20 days ago
  • youknowme

    replying: wait does that mean you actually like it?

    21 days ago
  • rainandsonder

    agh i’m once again blown away by how good your writing is. “bone-shaped childhoods”, “i bled dry into what i perceived you to be”, that whole first stanza !! i’ll definitely be trying to keep up with the other parts!

    21 days ago
  • youknowme

    you've improved so much since the last time i saw you :)

    22 days ago
  • youknowme

    this is so good!

    22 days ago