Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
oOoOoOhHhHh I'm actually particularly proud of this one....i like it ^u^
I kinda wanna record it....am I allowed to, or do I have to have permission? (pleeeaseeee review, that would mean A LOT)
I really liked this piece. You chose a lot of interesting adjectives, which is important because adjectives can be so cliché that when a writer uses them it should be for a purpose. I also think that you do a lovely job in the flow of the verses, that is, there are never any syllables or words or phrases out of place.
I think some of your lines are very un-cliché while others are a bit more cliché ("I am the cry of the lone wolf" or "I am the rush of the water fountain.") I might be going too far with this but I think that some of your other lines are very powerful because the reader does not expect them. The sighing devils, the gorilla diva, these lines surprised me. I would definitely say to stick with these images; they work much more beautifully in the poem. Don't avoid clichés entirely, but find the right time for them. I hope that makes sense.
I wonder why you identify with the song that nature sings. I guess we all do, in a way, but I think it's interesting that you would pick nature in general rather than a specific element.