Peer Review by Paisley Blue (United States)

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When the Stars Are Dust

By: V-Rose


FREE WRITING

Tell me when the stars are dust
coating my pale fingers.
Tell me when the moon will fall
and the light from brilliance lingers.
Tell me when I dance
beneath a dying sky.
Tell me then and there
exactly how I die.

Because you know, don't you
Your face hides a million things.
I know you know I hate you
As every falling star sings.

Will you kill me simply because you can
and lay me on the cold, hard ground?
Will you kill me with a poisoned cup
to take my heavy crown?
Will you kill me like you did all before
with all your wicked lies?
Will you kill me just because
every princess dies?

Because you are here to kill
I can read that one truth on your face.
And you do not know that I can kill
And put you in your place.

Oh, I don't like to hurt people
the way you are willing to.
Oh, I won't hurt my people
just because of you.
Oh, I can't hurt the people
but I know you will.
Oh, I don't hurt these people
but I can leave you lying still.

I am a queen and I have secrets
Just like what you hide.
You are a killer with evil secrets
And you will keep it deep inside.

Tell me when the stars are dust
how I will die one day.
Tell me when the moon will fade
that you will run away.
Tell me how you tried to kill me
but I am here to stay.

Word Count: 260
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Peer Review

I love the first and last stanzas SO much. The imagery of dancing underneath a dying sky... This blew me out of my seat.


I kinda want to know who "you" is! I don't think you absolutely need to add it to your poem, but it makes me wonder. Yeah, this is just so beautiful and poetic!


Reviewer Comments

Your writing swept me away. This is a wonderful poem and I really can't wait to read more of your writing!