United States

est. 2018
she/her | junior
semi active; chaotic life.
published writer + classics enthusiast.
obsessed with name titled poetry & songs.

Message from Writer

you're a writer? then darling, you're already farther than most people your age. i meet adults that never know what to say or how to say it; 'cause even when writer's block hits, an epiphany is sure to come your way.

hope & her sweet nothings

July 30, 2020



i met her when i was four years old and my daddy told me it was time to leave, she held my hand and promised we'll see my mom again - she just needs space. back then, i was too naive and sadden to question her knowings.

she visited me time and time again, i learned to adore her, craving the next time i could see her and she would lend a hand.

no, it wasn't until sixth grade when i wrote henry's name on my hand, desiring to kiss him, did i call upon her. we prayed together and she taught me how to flirt; she even let me see how he returned the favor. yet, soon, impatience got the better of me and i stole my first kiss. she sat clapping for me.

but then i met good karma who told me things, proved her worth, and played with fate's strings. and at first, we were all such good friends.

then my true love breathed his last breath, youth still on his features, showing me the life he never lived. good karma left immediately, leaving only a note instead of her presence. but she, the one with me since the beginning, clung to me fiercely; yet, even i knew she couldn't save my heart from breaking.

so i yelled with steaming tears dripping from my chin, slapped her across the face and said, i did everything, yet he's still dead and my mother's never seen me again!. she begged me to trust her again, it took everything in my being not to fall into her arms and share the dread. holding myself back, i poured acid on her head while asking, confess your name and state your game. quickly, she carved four letters into my heart before leaving - with that awful smirk. 


i never let anyone else in and ignored her constant sweet nothings she tried to give. and funny how expectations never fail if you refuse to raise them.

where's your hope? a friend asked, holding my hands. i felt my eyes water as i replied, i lost her a long time ago and i never want to see her again.
Finished: 7/21/2020
another piece from my soon to be full notebook i wrote during my hiatus and finally got the courage to publish!

Feedback appreciated!


See History
  • July 30, 2020 - 12:24pm (Now Viewing)

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  • Wisp

    Oh my gosh this is so so so pretty (sorry for lack of word choice, I'm lowkey very tired, but you know, I just couldn't resist reading a piece of yours before heading to bed, so here I am) I honestly thought that perhaps the she was referring to a friend or something, but when you introduced her as the personification of hope, everything fit so well together and it was like everything clicked. Oh gosh, the personification was beautifully worded and described and it was as if I could actually understand the impact she had on the person. Lovely work and I have no words to describe how this piece made me feel inside--because there's a flurry of emotions winding and I could not possibly place a single one.

    24 days ago
  • dovetrees

    wow, the emotion in this is amazing! it felt like the anger was shared so vividly that i understood completely how the narrator felt. i can't even begin to describe how in awe i am! 'quickly, she carved four letters into my heart before leaving - with that awful smirk,' -- what an incredible line! so raw, and the personification is just stunning! a truly wonderful idea, and brilliantly executed :)

    4 months ago
  • Eblinn

    this is so well-written and I'll definitely reread to discover everything that's so amazing about it.

    4 months ago
  • purplepanache

    ack, this piece is going to be stuck in my mind for a while. the apathy in the title is so painful by itself. and then you go on to describe that strange, powerful conviction we all carry with us in childhood- an undying faith that the world will be good to us (that's precisely why little children are scary sometimes). oh god, you've described hope's betrayal so beautifully, that invasive sense of hopelessness, that comes with age. ''but she, the one with me since the beginning, clung to me fiercely; yet, even i knew she couldn't save my heart from breaking.'' man, that just broke me. this piece kinda broke me. thank you, thank you jkdjfsks.

    4 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    this hits hard. your personification is just seamless.

    5 months ago
  • purplepanache

    man, this broke me. it's so intelligent and heartbreaking, imma be right back when I'm sane enough for a more detailed comment.

    5 months ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    admittedly, i was a little confused in the beginning as i tried to puzzle together who this 'her' was but wow it just came together wonderfully in the end! i think that just does so much for this piece. i'm rereading this after knowing who 'she' is and it's just a completely new experience and absolutely brilliant because 'wow, it all makes sense now!'. and the way you wrote this.... it just hits all those soft parts and whoa heartache for hope? only one person could've done it ;). but just whoa, this piece was just a journey from holding hope to pushing her away and it was just so sorrowful yet relatable in a way i know will touch a lot of people.
    *if i did have some feedback, i think the parts with 'good karma' and the 'her' in particular are a little confusing even after rereading with 'hope' in mind. might just be me though; this piece was amazing! <3333

    5 months ago