chrysanthemums&ink

United States

ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ 'ʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏᴍᴏʀʀᴏᴡ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ.

Message to Readers

title is somewhat undecided.

"wrought from the throes of writers' block"

so a little mix of i think globus sensation and 'drinking milk three hours before a choir concert but still having it clog up my throat' yeah, um, don't drink dairy before a concert? i heard it's a myth but it's always blocked my throat so *shrugs

am i just writing the same thing over and over again just with difference contexts? also, the phrasing is weird because i ditched punctuation

i scrape white paint off my throat

July 27, 2020

FREE WRITING

20

water fountain forsakes me this
guttural mass in my throat 
scrapes, plunges, but does not extinguish either way 
this rancid phlegm burned only by the bristles of a keen 
inhale, leaves red lines in its departure and 
cuts jagged mountains into the skulls of honey sweet songs
cut it
cut another piece off

smiling, swallowing down fingers of bitter bile—only to 
scrape the ivory smother from convulsing vocal cords
collect it and leave it next to the secretion of the eye 
dry guillotine, the spittle coating has long since
peeled off in
crumbly shards of sickly cream 
there's no more time
and the paint dries in disease 
the lump persists, there is no adam's apple but
this sensation leaves me licking the innermost caverns of my mouth
inhales the poison of lactose-tinted stage lights and 
chokes on the receding glaze 
swallow again, child
swallow it all down until there is only red left


 

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  • July 27, 2020 - 2:04am (Now Viewing)

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8 Comments
  • Eblinn

    "and/cuts jagged mountains into the skulls of honey sweet songs"
    I can't even begin to comprehend how you write something this beautiful about a feeling this uncomfortable. this is gorgeous!! it reads like magic, like elegance and it's just too good


    4 months ago
  • youknowme

    holy shi- this was wonderfully done, and my god i'm so uncomfortable


    4 months ago
  • sunny.v

    aaAAA IM LATE BUT this made me so? wonderfully uncomfortable? like in the best way, right? like i want to go rinse my throat after reading this which is actually perfect. i think the lines “ the lump persists, there is no adam's apple but
    this sensation leaves me licking the innermost caverns of my mouth ” really took me to what you were describing? i’m no choir kid nor do I need to use my voice for anything important but you described everything so specifically and succinctly that I think I got it! “ swallow it all down until there is only red left ” is such a great ending line because it brings it all back to the “shoving down” notion of like, trying to ignore the discomfort for the concert? yeah. yeah. and no, you weren’t repeating yourself! seemed perfectly coherent to me. awesome work as always, you described this perfectly!! <3


    4 months ago
  • rainandsonder

    this has literally never happened to me before considering i'm not in choir and i hate milk, but reading this i feel like i know exactly what you're saying?? like i want to tear my throat out now, that's how viscerally uncomfortable this made me feel (but in a good way, don't worry!) and to answer the question in your message to readers, no, you're not writing the same things over and over, or at least i don't think so. when i get writer's block that happens to me too, where i feel like i'm just recycling the same things over and over, but i promise that your brain is lying to you. fantastic work!


    4 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    I can't describe or put words to how much I love this piece. This is so well-written. Also, at first, I didn't know you were talking about milk, so I thought it was about words getting stuck and not being able to speak. Either works, and that is really cool to me. I always love seeing how different people get different things from writing. Really good poem, I am amazed! <3


    4 months ago
  • EliathRose

    I'm coming back to comment, because the first time I saw this, I didn't have the right words to describe what I thought of this piece.
    I think that what really hit me hard was how beautiful you made something so simple sound. This experience isn't really something you'd think to write about, but somehow, it's so... smooth? It's quite enchanting, if you know what I mean. "swallow again, child/swallow it all down until there is only red left" was what did it for me, I think. That's such a great way to end off the piece. Altogether, it left me in awe.


    4 months ago
  • dovetrees

    I agree with outoftheblue, the words are so beautiful and poetic: ‘only to scrape the ivory smother from convulsing vocal cords,’ - how is the imagery so clear yet so mysterious? (if that makes sense), I really admire the way you write!


    4 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    "the lump persists, there is no adam's apple but
    this sensation leaves me licking the innermost caverns of my mouth
    inhales the poison of lactose-tinted stage lights and
    chokes on the receding glaze" welp it was stupid of me to think that anyone could describe that sensation of dairy just before a concert as poetically as you did, becuase my goD how do you take the most mundane, everyday things and turn them into something so chillingly gorgeous?


    4 months ago