abi's pov

United States Minor Outlying Islands

WtW's resident disappearing act

a WtW vet

tbh, i forgot exactly when i joined - late 2019

Message from Writer

i'm not a poet

"nothing ever ends poetically. it ends and we turn it into poetry." - kait rokowski

current book rec
-laura dean keeps breaking up with me by Mariko Tamaki

current song rec
-rät by Penelope Scott

stay safe, stay cool, kiddos!

love,
your angsty, pretentious alt wtw older sister :)

my art is merely a throw for immortality and even that I do not want

July 21, 2020

FREE WRITING

8
immortals can never love
           because love is about survival
and i guess that’s why i’m scared to be eternal.

you see, a god could never love a mortal,
            not truly at least.
love, 
              when you tear away at it,
much like the crows who picked at Prometheus, 
               is vulnerability
and that is the one thing that immortals can’t be.

when nothing can harm you, do you ever truly feel fear?

love is the acceptance,
              and even more than that, it is the fear of how weak humans really are.

yet, denial keeps brewing in my veins,
             leaves me hanging on my seat
with that same question,
            “what do i want to be?”

i’d like to say i’ve felt love before,
            not afraid,
just floating in that unfathomable space,
           but my mother once said that all poets were liars,
romanticizing heartbreaks and wildfires,
             i’m not a poet
and therefore, i should not lie:

                       i haven’t felt love before,
                                     just fear.

the knowing that one day life will end
             has carved out a space to love so deep
that the only love i know is visceral; instinctual.

and maybe you don’t believe me,
             perhaps you’d ask me to think reasonably,
and so i’ll tell you how i’ve loved the ocean.

if you take away my fear from my love of the sea,
              i don’t think it would exist
and even if it did, that space for loving would be empty,
            aching and lonely,
trapped in a loveless marriage with the tides and surf.

terror is a fundamental paragraph in every love letter I’ve written to the seven seas.

the tumble of waves underneath my feet
          as i surf slices of romance poetry 
forms such panic that floods adrenaline into my veins,
          makes me feel like the ocean and i are one in the same.

oh, the way the sea whispers my name
            and presses salt spray kisses to my cheeks
only transform my worry for my own safety
           to worry for theirs.

i care because i’m scared
          and i’m scared because i care;
oh, what a cycle love is!

“scared” is the only way that love has ever come to me;
    
        i cannot be immortal.
        it is merely not in my veins.
I was thinking about this a lot while surfing this morning and that isn't out of the ordinary, but I usually don't remember the poems I make up while surfing, but this one stuck with me. I think bcuz it's really true to me, dunno, hope you liked it :)

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  • July 21, 2020 - 11:34pm (Now Viewing)

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3 Comments
  • purplepanache

    dang, you sure are a hopeless romantic now arent you?


    4 months ago
  • inanutshell

    oh wow. this is art in its truest form - honest but open. "love is the acceptance,/and even more than that, it is the fear of how weak humans really are" there's really a fine line between love & fear, but i'm in awe of how you've blurred the lines here.


    4 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    WHAT IN THE HECK HOW ARE YOU SO TALENTED?!? You just casually write freaking masterpieces while surfing... seriously?? Also, you get to surf and I am so jealous because it looks like so much fun but I've never done it.


    4 months ago