dovetrees

United Kingdom

"ad astra per aspera."
16
baking, swimming, & doctor who and history enthusiast
infj, hufflepuff, est. july 2020

Message to Readers

i think i'm really proud of this one! let me know what you think! (& thank you to all of you lovely people who have commented on my work this past week! i've had such a warm welcome to wtw and your kind words make me smile so much :) i also see the same people in my notifs a lot so a very special thank you to you guys!! xxx

cherished

July 25, 2020

FREE WRITING

16

seventy eight. that's how many freckles you have, dusted across the bridge of your nose and creeping onto your cheeks. i know, i counted them. they're so small but so beautiful, like sprinkled stardust across your sunkissed skin. it's funny, you know. i'm sure that you've caught me staring, losing count only to restart. but you never say anything. why?
when you grab my attention, all i can focus on are your eyes. bright, but sad. a sparkling, emerald green above the dull interior created by years of unfair torment. life has treated you like gum on the bottom of his shoe and yet you still smile. and you smile so beautifully. the corners of your eyes crinkle with pure joy and i am ecstatic! all you do is give, give, give. you never take, and others aren't like you. so you receive very little. and this is infuriating to me because all i want to do is give you everything; the stars in the sky, the flowers in the earth, the shells from the bottom of the sea. 

i grumble when you don't clear away your countless used coffee mugs, only to have guilt grab me with its claws by the chest when i notice the dark circles under your eyes. 
i complain when you talk during movie night, completely overlooking your comedic remark, or theory of events that would turn out to be completely correct! at least, i would know if i had listened. 
but when i saw that your smile didn't reach your eyes today, and that you didn't make a sound when we watched your favourite movie, i realised how unpleasant i was being.

and it killed me.

so here i am, making your breakfast this morning with a special side of apology. because despite adoring you with every cell in my being, i never actually cherished you. but i have learned my lesson. you are the centre of my solar system, my sun. and it is my job to prove this to you.

you make every star in my sky shine brighter, you join all the dots in my constellations. you are the petrichor in the day, that refreshingly light breeze after an april shower, the harmony of the birds' melody as the sky is still grey, but the world is still bright. how can i express all of my feelings when it's precisely those that take my breath away?

you've always been there for everyone. so from now on, let me be here for you.
(ignore: 210720) another quick piece i wrote when i imagined a situation like this between two people, one of them clearly pining for the other. i'm hoping this is realistic enough, because i've never experienced anything like it -- feedback is golden if you would like to! 

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14 Comments
  • Paisley Blue

    Wow... this description blew me away. I want to read more like this; this is beautiful beyond belief!!! I cannot put into words how much I love this. All of it.


    4 months ago
  • rainandsonder

    this is SO soft oh my god, especially the bit abt the corners of their eyes crinkling with joy, i love it!


    4 months ago
  • Dmoral

    don't worry darling, the peer review is still going through (aka processing). it typically takes at least a day at most like 5 days. :)


    4 months ago
  • Dmoral

    reviewed!


    4 months ago
  • Emi

    This is gorgeous. Makes me think of a husband and wife for some reason. So beautiful and full of excellent adjectives and description.


    4 months ago
  • inanutshell

    aww this is so sweet. "they're so small but so beautiful, like sprinkled stardust across your sunkissed skin" this combined simile and alliteration blew me away; so many lines here are so subtly breathtaking, gave me all the feels <3


    4 months ago
  • Anlee

    this is so beautiful and realistic! <33


    4 months ago
  • Lata.B

    This was so cute and sweet! I rlly love this piece! :)


    4 months ago
  • sunny.v

    replying: ah thank you so much for your kind comment !! i’m ashamed to say that I haven’t been able to be as active as I used to be here in able to get to know you and your work more, but I’m glad your welcome has been so warm :)) if you ever want to chat/you need something, please go ahead and shoot me a comment! even if it’s just a “there’s a piece i’m proud of!” i’d love to hear from u! much love to ya ;DD
    (and yes, floating cake? where does it end? does it EVER end?)


    4 months ago
  • Stone of Jade

    ohhhhh this is so sweet! i love this. you really spilled feeling into these characters and told a perfect little story in these few words.

    I LOVE THIS!!!!


    4 months ago
  • WitchyKittyKat

    Ahhhhhh my hopeless romantic heart


    4 months ago
  • Doodleninja

    awwwww this was so sweet and endearing!! I could tell how much love was in the narrator because it just spilled into their words. Amazing job!


    4 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    holyyyyy-

    this is stunning. the metaphors, your stunning imagery. sorry for this mess of a comment.


    4 months ago
  • ek503

    I love this piece and all its gorgeous descriptions! The beginning made me smile, and I was hooked :)


    4 months ago