It's quiet here. I don't know what you would think of it here but I needed this place. You never get a stillness like this in the city. There’s always something happening. Somebody's something is going on and you just get caught up in the lives of other people. I did at least. Here I can live life as it happens, not just watch it flash before me. We never really talked about stuff like this in conversation. I guess it's easier to talk about these things when you don't really have to say it out loud.
One thing I noticed in this silence how much people talk. People would talk so much that you’d think they actually had something important to say. Most of the time it's just empty words. I find that writing gives words more significance and weight than just having them float around in conversation. I think its because you have to take time to think about what you’re going to say before you write it down.
I remember trying to choke my voice into a conversation just to be heard. Or maybe just to hear myself? You would know the answer to that, wouldn’t you? You knew a lot of things but never said anything, I was always amazed at your silence. I don’t get how someone who spoke and sounded as beautiful as you, would be all shut up. Though there was this one time when I caught you humming a little tune to yourself and it was the sweetest thing. Your voice just sounded like it wanted to be heard like it was escaping something. I think about that a lot.
Anyway, I think you’d like it here, there are more trees than you could count and there isn’t another soul for miles all around. I know I haven’t seen you in a while, and the last time I did it wasn’t...well you’d know better than I would.
I know it must be hard for you to remember but Dad wanted me to keep you safe. Please just tell me why you wouldn’t leave? You don’t need to be quiet anymore, you can leave and live life the way you want. I know that it’s scary to leave everything and change but you have to. You don’t have to listen to everything they tell you to do, you are better than they say you are and you can have a life that’s worth living.
Sorry, that was a lot to say. You may hate me for saying it but I think you needed to hear it. I remember when I was your age that I thought I’d be stuck in the life I had forever. Maybe your smarter than me and have some grand plan and are just more patient than me, but still, you wouldn’t be running away, you’ll be eighteen when that ticket I’m sending is. Think of it as a little happy birthday gift from afar. Hopefully, I’ll see you soon.
Love forever and always,