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叶安灵 // 16, 2022 // she-her-hers
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Message to Readers

is the formatting okay? i really like this list, i'm considering developing it into a full piece!


July 16, 2020



the best and worst feelings

the best: lying down in the grass on a summer night, watching the sky’s colors fade. you might catch a flock of birds overhead, and you should wave, because you’ll likely never see them again.
the worst: mosquito bites the next day, dotted all over your legs and arms and neck. they really had a feast last night.

the best: something baking in the oven. sometimes you cook not to eat, but to feel yourself working and to smell the masterpieces you’ve made. you can never go wrong with sugar, butter, and flour. they may as well be adjacent to love, comfort, and stability.
the worst: body odor in the hallways and following you into a classroom with no air conditioners. why the football team can’t commit to using deodorant is beyond you, but now isn’t the time to air your grievances. you feel sick, nauseous from the mingling of axe with hormones and smacking gums. you wish you were home, or anywhere other than here, if we’re being honest.

the best: your name at the top of a list, your grade at the top of a class, your skills on top of the world. we all seek validation in some form or another. it might be the sin of pride creeping up from behind, but its true and in the moment one can’t stop to think. there’s a kind of rushing high in knowing that hard work pays off.
the worst: someone you once held close walking away, or maybe the two of you embarking on different paths in opposite directions. maybe it was a blowout, maybe it was just time. regardless, it never feels good to lose a friend. 

the best: food after a long day. it’s late in the afternoon and you haven’t eaten in hours. sometimes you forget, either working too hard or sleeping too little. however, you can’t ignore your growling stomach forever. what do you reach for? personally, it’s the robust fullness of a warm tea or coffee that satisfies my starving state. when it comes to solid food, nothing is better than dry, crunchy, sugary cereal. yes, late in the afternoon.
the worst: acrid bitterness, the taste of something that sat in the fridge for too long and is now ruining whatever good was left in your day. rotten fruit, sour milk, moldy bread. the fact that you even allowed these spoils to touch your mouth shows that you’re out of it. take a nap.

the best: laughter, music, intimate whispers under the covers. parties in the dark are almost vacuums for big noise, and while the sights might not be pretty, the sentiment is there. it’s teenage rebellion and genuine emotions driving the joy that you hear. you’re not sure if this adolescent enthusiasm is meant for forever, or if you’re always going to sing along to rap songs drowning in autotune. for the moment though, it’s bliss.
the worst: silence. proof of betrayal, whispers in the hallway. your mind can only hear incessant nonsenses, crescendoing and amounting to denial, insecurity. you’re still so young, you need the crowd to shout your name, people to approve your choice to breathe. if no one speaks to you or knows your name, were you ever really there? we find no comfort in the quiet. sitting in it really is the worst.

i wouldn't call this piece personal, but it certainly was very meaningful to me as i wrote it.


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  • July 16, 2020 - 10:55pm (Now Viewing)

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  • pineapples

    I love the creativity and the formatting :)

    5 months ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    I love this so much. Nice job on the descriptions!

    5 months ago