abi's pov

United States Minor Outlying Islands

WtW's resident disappearing act

a WtW vet

she/her

tbh, i forgot exactly when i joined

Message from Writer

i'm not a poet
art is dead

currently embarking on my villain arc

"nothing ever ends poetically. it ends and we turn it into poetry." - kait rokowski

current book rec
-laura dean keeps breaking up with me by Mariko Tamaki

current song rec
- line without a hook by Ricky Montgomery

stay safe, stay cool, kiddos!

love,
your angsty, pretentious alt wtw older sister :)

does he make you laugh like I used to?

July 16, 2020

FREE WRITING

3
hi, 

            This is supposed to be for some letter writing contest, but I can't bring myself to turn in it. I just know that by the time I psych myself up to submitting it that it'll be too late, like everything is with you. So it's merely going to sit in a corner of computer next to stupid romance poetry and discarded pieces of prose.  Nevertheless, I'm going to write this out in hopes of moving on, letting go.
           How are you? That's what people usually ask in letters, right? How are you doing? Are you okay? How could you forget about me so easily? What did I do wrong? I can't delay the hard questions. We both know we've procrastinated talking about our feelings for long enough. Why wasn't there room enough in your heart for both of us? Did you have to choose? And if you did, was it hard? I know the answer is probably no, it was easy to pick him over me. I understand, it's okay. I'm not going to throw myself a pity party and say that the choice is familiar to everyone around me because I shouldn't have to around you; because you should know that people have been making that decision my whole life; because above all, you said you wouldn't and you did. 
            I promised I'd be honest. That's the least I can do for myself, even though it hurts. So with every bit of honesty I carry in these broken bones, I hate you. 
            You can call me bitter. In all truth, I am. I'm bitter and I'm angry and I wish that I wasn't because it's so easy being mad and I don't want that, but I am and for once in my life, I think I deserve to be. So here's a bunch of things I hate about you in cheers to being bitter.
            I hate your dumb excuses and I wish you would tell me the truth for once in our friendship. I hate that you know all my secrets and yet you act like I'm some stranger off the street. I hate that you use him as an excuse because that's not fair and I know that life isn't, but there are lines that you shouldn't cross no matter how much you might hate a person. I hate that I can remember every detail of your face. Each freckle, every blemish and scar is so burned into my memory and I just can't forget. 
            Most of all, I hate that I could write a hundred more things I hate about you, but I won't because at the end of the day, I don't want to watch the world end with anyone else and maybe that says something profound about our friendship or how it was doomed from start. To be honest, I don't know. I'm not a poet or an artist or a fancy philosopher. All I know is that if you came running back, even after all the times I spent crying in bed because of you, I'll take you back into my arms as easily as I did when we were friends, not because I'm a good person [I'm honestly not sure if I am], but because I know that you are.

                -the one you left behind
does me become less personal and meaningful to me if I had lmao at the end? no, not really, but lmao. 
written jun. 11, 2020

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  • July 16, 2020 - 2:51pm (Now Viewing)

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2 Comments
  • happygiggles

    It hurts a lot when someone you love leaves but I promise you that it gets better. Time is a great healer, I may not know a lot but that I do know. Give it time and I know that it's hard but try to be patient. Don't lose hope, you've got this!


    6 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Thank you for writing something this beautifully honest. It's lovely.


    6 months ago