United States

she/her. 16, i write poetry
est. sometime in 2017
currently waiting for wtw's 3rd golden age

Message to Readers

Rambles. Feedback is appreciated!

nine thoughts for nine lives

July 15, 2020


annie asks me, do i want to zoom tonight and i say no. annie says, okay, that’s fine. annie says, hope to see you next week then! annie says, we’ll miss you xx.
  1. there’s a sad song playing in my head but there’s no music and the lyrics are taking the form of dull hammering against my forehead
  2. it’s like, okay i want to write but i’ve forgotten how
  3. on tuesday night i’m planning to stand on the roof during the thunderstorm. i want to feel my shirt clinging to my skin and i want to drink from the clouds
    1. a) and i want to scream into the abyss, say do you think when nu wa made hands for mankind she knew that mine would feel empty all the time
  4. i want to be struck by lightning
  5. let’s burn down the sky together. when childhood is over the dream ends too and then we are standing there like what does this all mean when did i get so lonely where has everyone gone why why why why
  6. i think today i understand it clearer, the teenager is a synonym for blasphemy, which means the prayers die on my tongue and that is okay except it’s not
  7. is it normal to feel like you are running running running and this is just the first life, imagine the second, imagine the third, imagine what happens when my skin is falling off of my bones and my head is exploding like those containers of jelly that the third graders used to throw at the cafeteria wall imagine the eighth imagine the ninth what then, what will we do then
  8. maybe when we die there is no reincarnation and no afterlife. maybe we just die and that is it, and we put dirt on and that is that and there is no ceremony and we just never wake up and that is the end of it all
  9.  the universe is funny like that


See History
  • July 15, 2020 - 11:33pm (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

  • rainandsonder

    i absolutely love your writing style, it feels so honest and dazed, melancholic and almost brutal at times. i agree with inanutshell that the rambling nature really works with this. amazing work!

    5 months ago
  • inanutshell

    man, i relate to this so much. think the rambling nature of this definitely adds to the piece, this stream of consciousness, esp 1, 2 & 3, is so simply honest & heartfelt.

    5 months ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    yknow sometimes you read a piece and you're just hit with such an intense wave of emotion that you automatically wanna write now? yeah, this. the opening line, for some reason it seems a little melancholic. maybe i'm just melodramatic but it sets the mood so perfectly. completely satisfied my coming of age angst craving that i didn't even know i had. i'm too muddled to really comment properly but this piece hit harder than it had the right too and i'm just at a loss rn. the tone, the voice, the everything i just can't. <333

    5 months ago