Lovers never broke me, no, they’ve only ever hurt me:
& yes, / it took me this long to realize it now,
& yes, / it took a true breaking for me to see it,
& yes, / it took crying on the bathroom floor,
& yes, / it took me not wanting to tell anyone my pain.,
& yes, / it took me realizing my pain came from you.
You a̶r̶e̶ were my best friend.
Playing the game was four years wasn’t long enough:
i. text last, never first, don’t let them leave you unread
ii. always call back, as soon as you can
those are the rules of the game, sign your friend’s name
’Cause, i made those rules back on the day i stole your number from a friend:
& yes, / i did break rule number one ’cause i can only last hours of waiting for your text that you’ll never send,
& yes, / i did call you first and you never did, most times when i hung up you wouldn’t call back,
& yes, / i did never tell you about this game since it was embarrasing to think texting was a science,
& yes, / i did silently know every girl knows these rules ’cause loving boys is harder than planning out a life without them in it,
& yes, / i did blame myself whenever i felt like too much for you to handle and spent those nights crying.
I h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶e̶n̶ was playing the long game from the moment we met:
i. our pact was made at fifteen, promising eternity if need be
ii. photos and trinkets, and hand written letters- sent to each other
i never realized i was the won who signed your name
x. t̶o̶g̶e̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶e̶v̶e̶r̶
And tonight, it’s all over, I regain my control again:
& yes, / I destroyed all the presents you ever dared to give,
& yes, / I destroyed our photos that decorated the room to burn them,
& yes, / I destroyed every message and call by (simply) deleting them,
& yes, / I destroyed the image I feed my parents about you for so long,
& yes, / I destroyed my love that I refuse to ever share again.
Boyfriends and wannabes never hurt me even a fraction of how you did:
i. keep never telling your new girlfriend(s?) about me
ii. ignore me as you do (unless i was the one to message first)
i’ll forget your name for as long as i live
But you’ll never read this anyway.
Hope the formatting's okay.
Finished: 7/14/2020 When the best friend you made a pact with (to get married & have kids if 36 and have no family) gets a girlfriend without telling you, never calls you back, and stops talking to you. So yes, this is very angry, very angsty, and very very pure hatred. Aka, he can go to he'll now. I wish I was gay, girls treat me way better. But it seems, I am not immune to the male species and only find interest (which I soon regret) in them. *Sighs*