kealoha

United States

- 16 -
novelist
singer/songwriter
artist
wanna be poet
ukulele lover

Message to Readers

revised, further feedback is always appreciated :D

watercolor with tears

July 26, 2020

FREE WRITING

19
put your tears to use young lady / let your pain slide down your cheeks / onto a palette of brilliant watercolors / dip your brush in indigo / wash the canvas with a melancholy blue / wet your brushes with the salty droplets / trickling like oozing paint from your eyes / vent your feelings onto this five by ten / paint with tears as your medium / and forget the pain /  drown it in subtle green / choke it out with violet / it is a canvas of heartache / the splatters of red / red, love is red / isn't it? / smile to yourself / and create a masterpiece / don't let your tears be wasted / young lady.
revised, thank you crow_e for the super helpful review :) feedback is appreciated. 

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7 Comments
  • Dmoral

    this, THIS is why i follow you. absolutely love this !


    4 months ago
  • birthdaycandles

    Oh dear this is beautiful, agreeing with Emi v the symbolism with the colours and emotions is chaotic yet relatable in some way. I think it’s significant how the word paint has the same first four letters as the word I think the “young lady” is feeling, that really struck me. Well done :)


    4 months ago
  • Emi

    I love the gorgeous references to colors! The symbolism here is so beautiful and really makes me think of a painting.


    4 months ago
  • Katenewell

    This is such beautiful writing- the colourful imagery is so vivid! Very inspiring!


    4 months ago
  • crow_e

    love this! i especially like the addition of "oozing paint from your eyes". Nice work!


    4 months ago
  • rainandsonder

    this is gorgeous! love the vivid colors and words that you use here, the one suggestion i have would be to maybe try experimenting with using more figurative language to describe the colors- for example, what can you compare violet to? the color of the sky at midnight in summer? just a suggestion, i really enjoyed reading this!


    4 months ago
  • Stone of Jade

    this is so poetic and so beautiful! I wish I could write like you...you have a gift with your words. the imagery here is perfect, the tone is perfect, your metaphors are perfect.


    4 months ago