pineapples

United States

Pineapples
I love reading and writing (obviously)
he/they, they/them preferred

"have I killed my thoughts right before their prime?
have I bit my tongue one too many times?
have I said it all the way I really meant to?"
~ben platt

Message from Writer

Refer to these pieces when you need more info on the LGBTQIAP+ community:
ON A-SPEC ERASURE:
https://bit.ly/2ZZ3wzD

On genders out of the binary of male and female:
https://bit.ly/3gMkJDl

Basic definitions of sexual orientations:
https://bit.ly/38Nn91w

On the difference between romantic and sexual attraction:
https://bit.ly/2DsW2xb

romantic and sexual attraction.

July 11, 2020

FREE WRITING

11

Did you know that there is a difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction? 

Well, whatever your answer, there is a difference. 

How we as a society usually default, when we say something like "I'm straight," or "I'm gay," for example, we are usually referring to our sexual orientation. But a lot of the times, who we are attracted to romantically and sexually align. So it is kind of implied when someone says "i'm straight" that they are both romantically and sexually attracted to male/female depending. (Refer here to see why I didn't just say 'opposite sex/gender.') But, for some people, the people they are romantically attracted to and sexually attracted to are different. This is especially apparent in many asexual people. 

Here's how it works: It's very simple, actually. It's pretty clear the difference between romantic and sexual attraction - it's pretty much self-explanatory. But here are some examples of how to say different romantic and sexual orientations and why or how someone's sexual and romantic attraction might not be the same. 

    -romantic - The suffix -romantic is an indication of a romantic orientation. Some examples are homoromantic, heteroromantic, biromantic, panromantic, aromantic. The prefixes are all the same as sexual orientations. It's just that the suffixes change. (Refer here to get to know the prefixes.)

    -sexual - This suffix marks a sexual orientation, just like the suffix -romantic indicates a romantic orientation. The prefixes are the same. 

    Asexual people - It is a common misconception, but the fact that someone is asexual doesn't mean that they aren't attracted to people. The term "asexual" means they are not sexually attracted to anyone. But one can still be romantically attracted to people and not sexually attracted to them. For example, someone could be homoromantic asexual, meaning they are  romantically attracted to people of the same gender as them, but do not feel sexual attraction. 

    Anyone else who experiences different romantic and sexual attraction - Really anyone can have differing romantic and sexual orientations. Some examples could be biromantic homosexual, homoromantic androsexual, omniromantic skoliosexual... It's kind of like mix and match - any romantic orientation could appear with any sexual orientation. 

My explanation "mix and match" might give you the wrong impression, these orientations are not things you choose, they are things that you figure out about yourself. I used those words to indicate that there aren't really any set rules to how two might appear together. 

Many people do not really pay attention to the difference between romantic and sexual attraction, and it's okay, because it usually matches in those cases. But some to some people, the difference between romantic and sexual could mean everything. I think it's important to know the difference.

 
I wrote this piece as a set-up for an upcoming piece that I wrote first. It goes more in-depth into things that I don't explain as much in the next piece. 

I don't really know why I'm writing all of these kinda boring informational-type pieces, but idk, it's fun, so why not. 

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  • July 11, 2020 - 4:15pm (Now Viewing)

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6 Comments
  • lindsmariebuck

    I hope you realized that you just helped me figure out my sexual identity. Thank you!


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    yes, the split-attraction model is really this simple. kudos to you for writing this!


    5 months ago
  • HelpMe512

    I love these little educational pieces you're doing! Usually this sort of stuff gets overlooked, so I'm really glad to see it!


    5 months ago
  • crow_e

    thanks for sharing this! split attraction isn't something talked about a lot, and a lot of people feel invalid because of that


    5 months ago
  • EliathRose

    Nice post; it does a good job of describing the split-attraction model.


    5 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Thank you! It is very informative. <3


    5 months ago