AminahMcBina

United States

Hey, I'm Aminah, but most people call me Mina.
17 yrs. old|I GRADUATED|INFJ-T|Female/Girl/She/Her|I think I'm something of a writer|Animal lover||MARVEL FANGIRL FOR LIFE|| Member of WtW since 2018

Message to Readers

reviews and comments help a lot more than that star. ;)

and i forgot the meaning of nostalgia when i smelled turkey bacon and waffles

July 16, 2020

FREE WRITING

4

i like to remember days that make nostalgia swim through the air in the scent of breakfast-
waffles and turkey bacon, but then i remember i don't like waffles. 
every square reminds me that every day is a new memory. 

nostalgia (n): a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations. 
but i don't actually feel the feeling of nostalgia. i like to think of it like this-

waffles- i remember when i was sent to the basement- (sometimes the garage, which i didn't mind. my cats were there)- with no food, because- well there wasn't really a reason. i just happened to be conceived by two different humans and thus that made me lesser.
turkey bacon- we don't eat pork. i still don't. the sweet-spiced smell of sizzling turkey strips fill my nostrils and my stomach doesn't even cry to me anymore because i was programmed to know that while everyone else ate, i wouldn't.
and so i'd pull my knees into my chest and hum my pain away.

and i'd have words flowing through my brain- words and feelings i knew i'd never express because yet still i was afraid.
years later i felt free but scents refill my emptiness and then i realize that no, i'm not. because my demons like to haunt me in the shape of squares and in the scent of meat sizzling in a pan.

but sometimes he's still here. you know, i feel like there's something he taught me. his hazel brown eyes and burly arms taught me things that i actually applaud. i smile at these things at night when it's quiet enough to hear my own thoughts. my heart didn't freeze on it's own, like a scratched disk in a dvd player. i was taught to never trust. to hide. and yet i'm still trapped by the pain in the past; my future can't hurt me in the same way because i already locked my heart away.
Haven't posted in like forever. I'm just thinking and writing about my past. Toodles, luvs. <3

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  • July 16, 2020 - 7:08pm (Now Viewing)

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