Peer Review by Mr. Colin E. (United States)

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Butterfly weed, Flower

By: To_Dream_Of_The_Moon


FREE WRITING

it feels like everything is crashing again 
that the water is again spilling 
over the banks i built so high 
like someone trampled over the flower 
i attempted to bloom 
that after all i did and tried 
it can never truly get away 
and so it just stays lurking, waiting 
to pounce

Butterfly weed (flower) - Means 'Leave me alone'

Peer Review

What surprised and delighted me about this piece was the overall irony of its title; Butterfly weed, Flower. Butterfly weed is a type of milkweed that attracts butterflies and yet the piece is told from the flower's point of view, how it doesn't want the butterfly to take its nectar. Your word choice, such as "waiting to pounce", was quite excellent also.


What inspired you to write this piece? Was this based on a love of nature, a philosophical take on a love of solitude, or based on something else entirely? Also, I happened to notice that you wrote this in all lower case letters. Was this a personal choice or is it a writing style?


Reviewer Comments

Hello To_Dream_Of_The_Moon, it's your friendly neighborhood Senior Peer Reviewer and I very much enjoyed reading this piece and reviewing it. It was a little hard to understand in terms of meaning at first, but I actually found it rather enjoyable and funny, especially since the Butterfly weed doesn't want the butterfly around. While there are some things in need of improvement, it's still really good for a first draft. I personally encourage you to keep writing and have a wonderful day. Top notch!