Anne Blackwood

United States

16
Christian
Theatre kid
Singer (soprano)
Poet
Twin (fraternal)
Spoonie
Disfusive
Highly Sensitive Person
Living oxymoron
Kindness Krusader: Blueberry cotton candy
XXFJ, Melancholic-Sanguine, ambivert

Joined 1/16/20

Message to Readers

I'm not too sure about the last couple of lines in particular. Does anyone have ideas on how to improve them (and the piece in general)?
Edit: Thanks so much for all the feedback!! I was actually kinda surprised anyone liked this lol.

Folding your beauties into my heart

July 9, 2020

FREE WRITING

19

I love your bubble wrap laugh, popping into the air so freely.
And the way you wear a jacket and basketball shorts at the same time.
You have campfire eyes, so wild and full of power,
But I know they're made of hard work and nostalgia.
That overexcited heart of yours is full of fireflies;
Who can darken its starlike glow?
Your sun-kissed fingertips are as innocent as a kindergarten painting.
You hate how they stumble over essays and origami,
Even as I save every discarded paper memory.
If we can shed our expectations of grandeur,
We'll be able to surpass it on the wings of faithful resolve.
Btw, guys, this isn't actually about a real person haha. I just thought of a couple of these descriptions a few days ago when I couldn't sleep and had to put them into a poem.

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  • July 9, 2020 - 4:26pm (Now Viewing)

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22 Comments
  • mia_:)

    replying: okay, sounds great!

    also, i might put Kindness Krusader: Mochi Waffle in my bio. should i?


    5 months ago
  • V-Rose

    Chapter 11 of Death's Tales is here.
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/179273/version/358370


    5 months ago
  • mia_:)

    hi, anne! so, me and a bunch of people have recently joined prose and vinter was wondering if you're allowed to get it too? it would be super fun if we could all be there! i miss you! <3


    5 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    congrats on 180 followers Anne! You so so deserve it.Your writing is so special and will always hold a special place in my heart.Also you're my buddy,what can I say? <3:)


    5 months ago
  • pineapples

    Replying: Okay, cool! glad you understood.
    I did want to say, though, you really did bring my attention to all of the things you said that I hadn't noticed, I guess I posted without really thinking enough. So thanks a lot for that :)


    5 months ago
  • pineapples

    Oh, and about the links (still replying)
    you're right, that would suck, I'll admit, after reading it again, the piece does feel a bit like I'm weaponizing those links. But the thing is, those links go to pieces that I DIDN'T write, and again, I'm just trying to show my support of what these other writers are saying.
    BUT, I completely understand where the worry is coming from (once again, the plan is to take this down soon, I actually kind of hate the writing.)
    These comments are an absolute mess, I hope you get what I'm saying (and I hope I don't sound too defensive, or anything. I do agree with your comment, I was just stating my reasoning, I guess.)


    5 months ago
  • pineapples

    Replying: Okay, yes, I hear what you're saying.
    I was actually originally planning to take the piece down after today. I just felt like I wanted to make it known that I supported a lot of the pieces. I do understand that it might come across as salty to admins, and I understand that they're doing their best.
    When I was writing this, the actual idea came from me just trying to show how many people were a bit (some people a lot) upset about the new guidelines. The focus was supposed to be less on the words and more on the amount of pieces there were out there. Reading it again, I totally understand what you are saying about the sort of bitterness and how the piece's narration has a bit of a bite.
    I'm still planning to take it down, actually, I just wanted to put it out here.
    I hope this is an adequate reply? I feel like I got a little off-track somewhere in the middle there, but I hope you understand the general gist of what I'm saying.


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    (pst anne i know you just got on here today but WHEW wtw is a storm rn. check out the new guidelines/announcements...to be fair, you warned us about this some time ago :’( )


    5 months ago
  • kealoha

    Lol, this brings someone to mind. Beautiful poem! 'bubble wrap laugh' is such a fun description, love it!


    5 months ago
  • elliem

    Reply: THANK YOU SO MUCH, ANNE! THAT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME :')


    5 months ago
  • Elizabeth Lewis

    It's amazing!


    5 months ago
  • Crazy Creationist!

    I love it! Reminds me of someone I know


    5 months ago
  • Christy Wisdom

    I love the title you chose!! Stunning. It fits the poem so perfectly!


    5 months ago
  • Dmoral

    title suggestions~

    another metaphorical description about them for ex: your hairs a mess i want to run my hair through

    you're more than i want you to be

    i love your...

    my paper memories of you (< my fav)


    5 months ago
  • mia_:)

    wow, this might be one of my favorite pieces of yours ever! "That overexcited heart of yours is full of fireflies; Who can darken its starlike glow?" that is such a stunning line! and the opening line! and the tone! and all of it! oh, anne, how dare you write such a pretty piece? your character development is *chef kiss* :)

    hmmm. maybe "we make our own majesty" or "paint the sunset red"? hope that helped! <3


    5 months ago
  • Christy Wisdom

    aah this is so pretty!! "your sun-kissed fingertips are as innocent as a kindergarten painting." I love the imagery in this piece! Maybe the title could be something like "describing you like childhood memories"? I have no idea if that works haha. I don't really have much advice for the piece in general, cause I absolutely love it! For the last couple lines, though, I think it feels kind of weird because while I can see how you get from the "even as i save every discarded paper memory" to the "if we can shed our expectations of grandeur" idea-wise, the way that it's written kind of feels a little abrupt? I don't know if that makes sense, haha. Maybe it needs to segway into the last two lines a little bit more? Either way, great work!


    5 months ago
  • Deleted User

    This is absolutely gorgeous, you wrote this with perfection! Beautiful poem.
    Ummm, let's see, title suggestions:
    Campfire Memories
    Nostalgic Origami (Okay, this title is just weird...)
    Whelp, hope I helped. Have a wonderful day! :)


    5 months ago
  • Samina

    Aww, this is a wonderful description. I agree with other removing discarded line would make it better. Honestly, this description is amazing. I could mentally picture the person. Good job!


    5 months ago
  • Emi

    My suggestion with the last few lines is to make them a little less vague. It sounds like you're hinting at a romance or something, but I can't be sure. Good work, however, building a character! I really thought this person was a real person because you described him so well!


    5 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    "I love your bubble wrap laugh, popping into the air so freely." oooh I love this line.I couldn't agree more with The Campbell's Kid, this piece really has something magical to it!


    5 months ago
  • The Campbell's Kid

    This piece is absolutely magical! How about using your favorite line or description as a title since they're all so good! Ex: Discarded paper memories, Campfire eyes, ect. It's a little simple but still super effective!


    5 months ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    aw, that was such a cute description! i love all the little details you wove in, bits and bits of characterization that really went a long way! ah, my heart is happy, i think i can sleep well tonight.
    title suggestions? hmm... maybe 'our callouses only prove how beautiful we are'? <3 beautiful piece.


    5 months ago