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she/her | asian
wtw community’s official older sister
running off into the sunset with circe
est. april 27, 2020

swordwielding protector of all minority groups
satire sorceress, lady knight

she clasps peonies, allure, & love

Message to Readers

this sucks to the extreme. like, what’s that horrendous rhyme scheme? agh well here’s to coming of age angst from a teen. also, the song doesn’t fit with the mood of the piece or theme, but i love stuff about time so take a listen to “turn back time” by wayv xoxo <3

come to pity what might be

July 8, 2020



i drank the contents of a walmart juice box from my mom’s wine glass last friday.
shut my eyes, guzzled the bubbles; you know, i pretended
it was all champagne.
i sat on the driveway some time ago and i
memorized the chalk mosaics and crayola masterpieces i used to make.
in a couple months, i’ll get a license, and i’ll smear them thrice over
in a silver chevrolet.
a while ago, at the mall, a woman’s baby bottle dropped from her stroller,
and i ran after her and told her, “ma’am, you lost this by the café.”
so she took the bottle, smiled, squeezed my shoulder, and said,
“you’re a good girl, dear. when you grow up: stay this way.”
and maybe it’s odd to think about, but since middle school,
my handwriting has never looked the same.
and also, it’s just that, i can’t stop thinking:

when i was younger, it’d felt like every week, i’d have a new reason to pray,
but dear God, growing up feels like going faithless on a sunday.

and so, i pity the woman with the stroller at the mall
who had hoped i’d stay that way.
because there’s a price to getting older
i can’t help but wonder if i’ve already paid.
-true story lol i was like “ma’Am [voice crack] y-you dropped your—“ and she was like “oh thank you so much, dear!” and no philosophical words were exchanged beyond that...haha. unless?...
-i’m only 15 nobody call me old but! idk y’all i have this visceral fear of growing up. i like being young and happy. i wonder, sometimes, if i’ve deluded myself into accidentally “acting older“.
-2020 chevrolet corvettes are So Awesome. they just look rad tbh.


See History
  • July 8, 2020 - 6:08pm (Now Viewing)

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  • rainandsonder

    "because there's a price to getting older/i can't help but wonder if i've already paid" oh wow. this piece reminds me of a lorde song, especially off of "pure heroine", the coming-of-age in the suburbs vibes are similar to me. i love this piece, and especially the line "when i was younger, it’d felt like every week, i’d have a new reason to pray,
    but dear God, growing up feels like going faithless on a sunday", i'm going to be thinking about that for a while. also the bit about handwriting- as someone who purposefully changes my handwriting every few months, that felt very familiar.

    4 months ago
  • journal.screams (#Queenie's Halloween)

    I also love your rhyming message box. :) My favorite parts are the handwriting bit and "when i was younger, it’d felt like every week, i’d have a new reason to pray, / but dear God, growing up feels like going faithless on a sunday" This piece expresses so many thoughts that I've been having recently. Thank you so much for publishing this.

    4 months ago
  • ava09

    turn back time by wavy slapssss i love it and their new album. :) also this piece is incredibleeee and so true (although you're not old cuz that means I'm old and I'm not thatttt old loll) but this was just amazing.
    also thanks for the comment! i wish you couldn't sympathize though, the feeling is not fun, but i'm sure we'll both find better best friends like you said. <3 we got this. :)

    4 months ago
  • mia_:)

    this piece looks amazing! i can't wait to give it a read! also, just wanted to let you know that my #favlines>favworks is out!


    4 months ago
  • purplepanache

    also, i am well and truly in love with the title of this piece. 'come to pity what might be'. what a gentle kind of power!

    4 months ago
  • purplepanache

    replying: a tattoo omg omg omg. girl, you go!

    4 months ago
  • purplepanache

    god, i felt this piece in mY sOuL. that whole juice-box/champagne thing was so relatable (um yeah that was me this afternoon :/). but growing up is so taxing. with every day, i feel like i lose something- i'm so terrified i'll lose this youngness of body or freedom of mind. there is so much i want to do. so much i want to be before i'm old and rich and serious. and ofc, you are the only one who could evoke so much pain and longing all at once. thank you for writing this sunny, and also inanutshell is correct lol, even your 'message to the readers' is a frickin poem.

    4 months ago
  • Deleted User

    Oh, you'd look so pretty i'm sure. I'm considering going red curls when this lockdown's done, but i'm not so sure yet. Also yes we'd be the best people in that nursing home. Everybody will love us or hate us there is no inbetween. Glad you support my marathons, honeybee, it's gonna be a fun fun time...

    4 months ago
  • Deleted User

    I love this sunny! how do you do it??? 'i drank the contents of a walmart juice box from my mom’s wine glass last friday.
    shut my eyes, guzzled the bubbles; you know, i pretended
    it was all champagne.' this is so sweet and I can fairly see you as a kid pretending to sip wine. I did the same with sodas but pretended it was beer lmao. and you're not old don't worry, i'm still older than you so if you do get old we'll get old together. we'll be the cool ones in the retirement home. i'll be that one who dyes her hair bright blue and zips around in my wheelchair. no, actually i'll be the one who'd try running marathons just for the fun of it. you can be the one who writes the best stories and you can dye your hair bright yellow... and what the heck am i talking about!?!?
    replying: thank you so much, cockatoo, was in a mood but your comment made me so happy <3

    4 months ago
  • inanutshell

    wow even your 'message to readers' rhyme i-

    i would say this angst is completely justified. you're only 15! def not old, and still a baby to me haha. it's a scary age :( "when i was younger, it’d felt like every week, i’d have a new reason to pray,/but dear God, growing up feels like going faithless on a sunday" oh my that's so accurate. really love this. also correct me if I'm mistaken but i think i remember this, was this in your ig story about dropping your phone? bc if so that was so FUNNY it really made me laugh !!

    4 months ago
  • And_The_Stars_Laughed

    Wow, this is incredible!! As said in previous comments the subtle rhymes work so well!!! This definitely had a nostalgic feeling to it, reminded me of "The Little Prince" (honestly I talk about that book too much but it really did remind me of it), basically, it had that "growing up" feel to it. And now I'm sniffling and thinking about how I don't want to "grow up" ahhhhh........
    Anyways, despite the fact that I'm kind of half-crying right now if that's even a thing, this was a very beautiful piece. Have a great day/night/I'm not sure what time of day it is where you live :))))

    4 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    I love the subtle rhyme scheme and tone of this! Esp that ending ^u^.

    4 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Rereading this and ugh that last line though

    4 months ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    can i just say that your msg box rhymes... and to add onto that, the msg box before republishing was ' this sucks to the extreme! like, what’s that horrendous rhyme scheme? oh well enjoy this coming of age angst from a teen' or smth ending with teen and i fricking loved that haha.
    you're OLD HA-
    but like, the rhyme scheme is so clever? i always envy those that can rhyme bc i absolutely suck at rhyming and you, emphatically, do not.
    from the very first line to the last line, it's an amazingly subtle journey of you sticking to childhood customs while donning 'grown-up' mindsets. the meeting w/ the woman (footnotes... yeah i get it) and yeah, i love how you used her as a sort of 'coming back' point for the last lines, it just familiarizes and infuses this piece with a sort of longing and wishful thinking. that bit with the handwriting too, what a lovely turning point! then praying... wow, the transitions are just flawless and absolutely breathtaking, considering how the themes of the piece changed somewhat midway. and like i said before, returning to the woman and stroller at the end of this piece, especially after the theme change, just brings it all into a full circle gorgeously and you're left with a sort of wistfulness that can't be replicated. also, the rhymes are pretty subtle but totally beautiful and something i didn't know i needed. gorgeous piece, i adore this! <333

    4 months ago