sunflowerbelle11

United States

"The ones who give the most are the ones who regret the least."

Message to Readers

Please know that I made up the writer and recipient for this letter. I am in no way related to the topic of this letter and I am not experiencing parental abuse.

Goodbye Letter

July 14, 2020

Dear Mom and Dad,
As you are reading this now, I am on my way out of Arizona. To where, I will not tell you. But I am leaving. I am sure you don't know why your youngest daughter would want to leave such a wonderful home. Why your youngest daughter would leave everything her parents have given her. The problem is, you don't consider me your daughter. You consider me an intruder, though you agreed to take me in. You consider me one more mouth to feed, though I barely eat more than a mouse. I am worth barely more to you than your dog. Don't pretend like this isn't true. I know it is. In fact, you have told me these things to my face many a time. Yet in public I am your "wonderful daughter who you love and spoil." More false words have never been spoken. At this time, you are not panicking, though I would like to imagine you are. You are not calling the police to start searching for me, though I would feel loved if you were. No, you are smiling because I am out of your life. "One less mouth to feed." I was always an outcast; you knew that. And you treated me that way. But let me ask you something. What is the life of a human being to you? Do you get to choose whose life matters and whose life doesn't? No, I don't think that is the way it works. That is why I am leaving. I am removing myself from your guardianship because this is the approach you take to my life and I won't let you drag down my self esteem with what you think I am worth. For the longest time, I believed the lies you fed me. I believed I was nothing more than....well, nothing. But if you remember one single Sunday when we went to church and there was a picnic that afternoon on the fair grounds. Don't worry, I know the only reason we attended was for your image, no religious reason at all. Anyhow, I remember sitting alone under a tree, watching the kids running around. The details from that afternoon are a little fuzzy, but one conversation I can remember as clear as day. Our youth group leader came over and sat beside me. You know, he was the man who always wore the bright yellow bow tie. Neither of you cared for him a bit, but nevertheless, he came over and sat beside me. We sat there in silence for a bit. Then, he spoke. He only asked me a question, but a question I will always remember. "Where do you find your worth?" This question stunned me for a moment. Where do I find my worth? The thought rolled around in my head for a while. I answered him saying that I didn't know. I didn't think I was worth anything. He stared at me with those dull gray eyes. "You are worth far more than thousands of rubies. You shouldn't find your worth in what people say to you, Ceila. What people call you isn't what makes you who you are." These words took me by surprise, as they might you. But what he said next changed my life forever. "Your Heavenly Father knows your worth. You are His child and He wants you to know that he loves you." As you can imagine and probably know, this didn't make sense to me. My heavenly father? Loves me? Someone I didn't know loved me. It was the strangest idea. After all, the only people I was well acquainted with made it well known they did not love me, as you know. But as I spoke to our youth pastor more, I began to understand his words. He showed me from the Bible what Christ did for me on the cross. That he died, was buried and rose again to forgive me of my sins, which I know are many. You never let me forget that. But my Heavenly Father forgets it, and still loves me. So this gets me to my point. I am leaving your home because I realize that you don't make me who I am. The environment that I am subdued to each and every day tears me down, besides the fact that it is unhealthy. So I am leaving. I know where I am going, and I know the people who I am going to surround myself with are going to be different. I may return in years to come to your large two-story manor. I want you to know that I used to consider you my captors. I was imprisoned in your brick house of hate filled words and there was no escape. But if I still felt the same way, I wouldn't have addressed this to "Mom and Dad", would I? I have found that if my Heavenly Father can forgive me of all the wrong I have done, I can forgive you too. 

I love you Dad and Mom. 

Your daughter,

-Ceila 

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1 Comment
  • Busssy.Beee

    This is so emotional, I can feel the writer... Bravo!


    7 months ago