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13 || she/her || wtw's resident adoptee :)

let's be friends! :) <3

mochi waffle :D

est. march 5, 2020

Message to Readers

no clue what this is . . . i'd love a review!

i already submitted this for an expert review, but do you think i should add a bit about the violence and the fight for justice? i'm really close to the word limit, so i'm not sure.

feedback, pls!!! <3

heartfelt letters to the year i wish would disappear (feedback greatly appreciated!)

July 7, 2020

dear 2020,                                                                                                            january 1st
    we welcome you with open arms, party poppers, and a marvel movie marathon. even my dog wears glasses with your name crafted out of shiny cardstock (she is not a fan of her new look, by any means). the avengers is a mere soundtrack to my thoughts and worries for the upcoming year. tony stark pushes his sunglasses up his nose bridge as i wonder what the new girl will be like. will she remember me? hulk smashes loki into the ground as i worry about being a third wheel again. eve and meghan were constantly ditching me. i was alone on the bus, at lunch, even when surrounded by people. 
    at least this sleepover with sage is a step in the right direction. we talk the night away, throwing reese's pieces into each other's mouths. i go to sleep wishing for a year of sunny thoughts, clear heads, and friends who don't dismiss me with a wave of their (fake) nails.  
    2020, do you feel bad? how can you sleep at night, knowing that things were going to end this way? you let me go on for months, trying to please, appease. you let me dismiss these rumors of a new disease overseas. i hope that your eyelids refuse to become heavy. serves you right.

dear 2020,                                                                                                            february 14th
    it turns out that, in a class of barely thirty, finding a new friend group is not so easy. and so, candy grams and "v-day" bring new questions afoot. who to address my notes to?
    i quickly scrawl out one to sage, since she's been by my side since the beginning. i can't believe i didn't appreciate her before. old friends who i turned over a new leaf with get quick notes about how much i love their friendship. the notes are only a tiny bit forced. but meghan and eve. no doubt they're wrestling with the same question. mia or popularity? it's no comparison, really. 
    i gave them a ride to the halloween party back in october (oh, october; that's when i really started to fall apart, i think) and they didn't say a word to me, in the car or at the party. do they deserve a little bag of candy with a note, the paper stained with feigned sincerity?
    i ask for new slips of paper and write to eighth graders instead, feeling a touch bad when i get a gram from eve with a sweet note, filled with starbursts, my favorite. i don't remember if meghan even gave me one. i wouldn't be surprised if she spent the dollar meant for me on herself without her mom's knowledge. 
    we do word searches in spanish while sneaking lollipops when the teacher isn't looking. we eagerly await the coronavirus update in history class. some of the boys find it funny. i do not. but it's interesting. epidemics are fun to learn about when they're far from your backyard. silly me, thinking that the oceans could protect me in such a globalized society. 
    how could i know that it would only be four days until my city had covid-19 coursing through its suburban streets? i have no way of knowing that our city would be put on the map for the first transmitted case in the united states. i eat my skittles in silence as doctora drones on about amor and el día de san valentín. better than verb conjugations, that's for sure.

dear 2020,                                                                                                                march 13th
    sage and i know schools will close eventually and we plan to make a one-room schoolhouse in my backyard. after the coronavirus update in history (our teacher explains the curve and how to flatten it, but no one really listens), someone asks if he thinks school will close. he replies, eventually. probably not soon, though. i really have no idea. i hate the uncertainty of it all.
    we find out that school is cancelled next period. i won't see my friends for a month, if all goes well (all doesn't go well, but i don't know that yet). 
    our schooling plan never happens. 
    2020, how did the calendar decide that all the pages would be crossed out? i bought a planner in january and filled it up. now i can't bear to look at it. all those events that will never happen.
    2020, i'm scared.

dear 2020,                                                                                                             april
    gosh, the month bleeds together like the time that i spilled water on my homework. i haven't left the house in weeks. are you happy, 2020? are you satisfied?
    i don't even know how to feel anymore. the crystal tears that i've bottled up start to roll down my cheeks. and i feel bad for complaining when some have it much worse.

dear 2020,                                                                                                             may 23
    over two months in isolation. writing has been my only solace. i should make a vlog or something (i feel like i'm in the martian, where he's stranded alone on mars). today should be my bat mitzvah. mom deems it my faux-mitzvah, what with me singing musaf prayers over zoom. zoom, the software that lets me see my friends but sucks out all the chemistry.
    my friends drive by and we hang out in the front yard. it feels normal, almost. except mom keeps reminding me to stay six feet away. six feet from the people who i want to hug. 
    and they can't even see my smile through my mask.
    2020, when will this all be over? when can i return to my life? will i ever?
note: i changed everyone's name except for my own to maintain their privacy! :)


See History
  • July 7, 2020 - 10:07pm (Now Viewing)

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  • inanutshell

    this is so heartfelt. really feel your anger and sadness towards 2020 here. the fact that it's still not over ... makes me sad.

    i think you can add the fight for justice bit, to further show how 2020 doesn't let up on the tragic events. raises the stakes a bit. but if you're close to the word limit, maybe you can keep that part short? either way, this is already really great :)

    5 months ago
  • Kyadickson

    This was really well written. I can definitely relate. Its going to get better, we have to believe that! My only criticisms would be maybe keep the headings of each letter uniform, and maybe some capitalization is needed here and there. Great job!

    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    “ do you think i should add a bit about the violence and the fight for justice? ” absolutely! i think it’d be a prominent touch. i do love how relatable and easy to nod at this piece is. definitely a unique piece with its multiple letters! quarantine sucks, but, well. yeah, that’s it. it sucks. anyways: this was so lovely and had just the right emotions conveyed. brilliant work, dearest! i suspect this will do excellent in the competition ;) winky winky hehe <3

    5 months ago
  • poetri

    oh my, darling. i love this--my favorite piece that held multiple letters. very well done, the storyline is conveyed clearly and emotionally. all the best for the comp! you definitely have a shot with this one :)

    5 months ago
  • mia_:)

    oh the formatting got kinda screwed up . . .

    5 months ago