Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
The very first line, "Dear Mr./Ms./Mrs. Transphobic Homophobic Racist" because I got an idea of what the letter would be about, and I obviously and very interested in issues about equality like this piece discusses.
I highlighted most of those places. Mostly it was just grammar and formatting, but some parts I felt like could be deepened if you explained the fear. Like you said that the black, transgender, bisexual woman would fear going outside, but you didn't really say why. It would make more of an impact on the reader if you described in excruciating detail why we're so afraid.
1. What are some of the goals you have that you mention in the end?
2. Why should we have to be afraid?
3. Could you provide examples on all the good parts about LGBTQ+ people too instead of just examples on how they're afraid?
This was really amazing. I loved almost everything about it, and I especially loved the little mini-stories and how there was so much representation there (I'm biased because ace never gets representation lol). Your words were so powerful, and they really hit me at my core. Just incredible.
Good luck in the competition! I can really see this one placing!