CactusKid

United States

"Living without passion is like being dead." - Jeon Jungkook of BTS

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Message from Writer

Writer. Reader. Music-lover. Fangirl. :)

My eternal resolution will be...to do too much. - "Orlando" by Blood Orange

Gifts

July 19, 2020

Dear friend, 

I hope you don't mind that I call you friend even though we've never met. We've never met, but I want to thank you for the gifts you've given me. The emotions I bear in my heart are difficult for me to express, but I will attempt to put them into words.

It's been only a short eight months since the night I first saw you. You were bright and full of truly passionate energy I haven't seen before. The radiance coming from you was enough to make me wonder even a day later. Can you imagine me daydreaming during school, buzzing with curiosity? I barely had the sense to be worried about my exam results because of you. But that's just it: curiosity to look beyond, to look for what others did not was the first gift you gave me.

So, I looked for you again. I could not forget the clarity in your voice as you sang. You were saying something that went deeper than language, and I wanted to find out. Maybe that's the reason why I listen to you. You always seem to be singing more than just lyrics. In the midst of uncertainty, walking through dense fog, your songs made me feel like you were holding my hand. I believed you were right beside me. That was the second gift you gave me.

On the day I fell apart in tears, you were the one that held me together. The prospect of another day with you cheering me on strengthened my weak limbs. My feet dragged but they were still moving. The end of that pain ended when I truly understood what I needed to do for myself. You gave me the courage to do something for myself and no one else. I realized that I don't have to filter the person I am to fit others' expectations. I don't have to keep my feelings locked up. I don't have to keep my eyes cast downward. I realized that I wanted to look up. To find what makes me happy and passionate like you. That's the third gift you gave me. 

I want you to know that you helped me push through the worst time in my life. You gave me hope. Hope for better things. Hope that this organ in my body is capable of feeling joy that way you do.

These gifts I've told you about aren't physical objects but they're worth more than anything else to me. Through your music, I felt like we're friends walking together through pain and loneliness but also joy and excitement that comes from this crazy thing called life. You gave me the courage to move forward without fear and learn how to become my own happiness. Thank you.

Please know that I will always support and love your work. The day we were supposed to meet had to be postponed, but your assurance keeps me steady. In my corner of the universe, I eagerly wait for that day because I trust that when it does come, I'll be filled with the light of your smile.

Until then, 

CactusKid
A thank you letter to someone who lifted me up this past year.

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