CactusKid

United States

"Living without passion is like being dead." - Jeon Jungkook of BTS

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Message from Writer

Writer. Reader. Music-lover. Fangirl. :)

My eternal resolution will be...to do too much. - "Orlando" by Blood Orange

Gifts

July 15, 2020

Dear friend, 

I hope you do not mind that I call you friend even though we've never met. We've never met, but I want to thank you for the gifts you've given me. The gratitude I hold in my heart is difficult to express, but I will attempt to put them into words.

It's been only a short eight months since the night I first saw you. You were bright and unlike anyone I saw before. I was just passing by, but the radiance coming from you was enough to make me wonder even through the next day. Can you imagine me daydreaming during a test, buzzing with curiosity? I barely had the sense to be worried about my exam results because of you. But that's just it. Curiosity to look beyond, to look for what others did not was the first gift you gave me.

So I looked for you again. I wandered around and asked around. Tons of different things were said and it was confusing to see so many opinions of a person like you. I could have stopped bothering, but I could not forget the clarity I saw in your voice as you sang. Maybe that was the reason why I continued to listen to you. In the midst of uncertainty, like walking through dense fog, your songs made me feel like you were holding my hand. It felt like you were reaching out. That was the second gift you gave me.

On the day I fell apart in tears, you were the one that held me together. The prospect of another day with you cheering me on strengthened my weak limbs. My feet dragged but they were still moving. The end of that pain ended when I truly understood what I needed to do for myself. You gave me the courage to do something for myself and no one else. I realized that I do not have to filter the person I am to fit others' expectations. I don't have to keep my feelings locked up. I do not have keep my eyes cast downward. I realized that I wanted to look up and be happy. To smile. That's the third gift you gave me. 

You saw right through my heart and pushed me through the worst time in my life. I want you to know that you gave me hope. Hope for better things. Hope for myself. Hope that this organ in my body is capable of feeling love and happiness that way you do. I'm finally able to smile, knowing that what I'm feeling will last.

These gifts I've told you about aren't physical objects, but I surely felt their weight. You don't know me, but I felt like we are constant companions. You became a star in my sky that never dims. Our paths are completely different, but you encourage me to keep moving forward without fear. By being the person you are, I am slowly learning how to be my own person. Just as you did for me unknowingly, I will cheer you on in your endeavors. 

The day we were supposed to meet had to be postponed, but your assurance is enough to keep me steady. In my corner of the universe, I eagerly wait for that day. It's uncertain as is everything right now, but I trust that when the day comes, I'll be filled with the light of your smile.

Until then, 

CactusKid
A thank you letter to someone who lifted me up this past year.

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1 Comment
  • Ren

    This is such a sweet letter! Good job writing!


    8 months ago