doodleninja

United States

18

~your local angst-y Christian girl~

when I'm not brooding you can find me trying to write comedy in my series "stereo tropes co." :)

soli Deo gloria!

Message to Readers

"You write so beautifully. Your mind must be a terrible place."
Always on the lookout for tragic backstories and broken characters. :D

I've got an ongoing series called Stereo Tropes Co.! Where story tropes run amuck!
Search up "Stereo Tropes Co." to find the pieces.
If you want to read them in order, follow the numbers in the titles :)

Shoutout to mah girl 2am Ghost
#ThereAreOtherWays
#westayedforthecommunity

Holding a Bomb from Outside the Space-Time Continuum since I'm Waiting for My Sanity to Return | Stereo Tropes Co. (6)

August 1, 2020

FREE WRITING

25

    "Are you ACTUALLY NAPPING RIGHT NOW?!" 
    Thinker woke with a jolt to red lights, alarms blaring (he thought he had set his alarm to "Soothing Galaxy Sounds", wonder what happened there), and Prose's angry face, a sight he was much accustomed to. 
    "Well I was," he yawned and stretched. "Now I'm actually annoyed."
    "PLOTT IS THREATENING TO BLOW UP THE ENTIRE OFFICE BUILDING," Prose threw up her hands, knocking over a can of pencils in the process. Thinker sighed. He'd have to rearrange them all over again from darkest shade of yellow to lightest. 
    Honestly. The things he had to deal with here. 
    "Again?" Thinker rubbed his forehead as he sensed the oncoming onslaught of a massive migraine. Pineapple juice. Where was his pineapple juice? 
    "I really should've guessed stuff like this happens all the time," Prose wrung her hands then grunted. "Fine. If you don't want to live, then don't follow me."
    "Why'd you come here?" Thinker spun around once in his chair before getting up. "Do you think I'm some sort of bomb expert?"
    Prose stopped at the doorway. "No. But I knew you'd know someone."
    Thinker beamed. "And you're not wrong."

---

    After making a quick pit stop at the lounge ("you can't expect me to work properly while deprived of the heavenly sunshine liquid called pineapple juice"), the pair skidded to a stop in front of the bomb, that was sitting in plain-sight on the reception desk on the first floor. 
    "You'd think he'd try to hide it at least," Prose circled the rectangular black box that had appropriate red blinking lights and a customary digital red countdown clock showing two minutes left.
    "Where's the fun in that?" Thinker sucked on his straw. "Speaking of which, where is the fun in this all-red color scheme? It desperately needs a splash of vibrance." He rubbed his chin as he inspected the weapon that could end them all. "I'm thinking electric blue strobe lights and a countdown clock involving cute cats."
    Prose stared at him.
    Thinker noticed. "What?" he then flashed a grin. "Enamored with my explosively good looks?"
    Prose rolled her eyes. "Yeah, they blow me away." 
    "I can't believe they sent you two idiots to try and stop me."
    Thinker and Prose whirled to face the newcomer. 
    Plott appeared behind his bomb, stroking it like it was actually a cute cat. 
    "We're not going to stop you," Prose folded her arms. "But someone who can is coming right now."
    "Right, about that," Thinker piped up. "Our bomb-defuser, well, she's a bit, um, held up."
    Prose froze. "Held up?"
    "Traffic," Thinker sighed. "You know how rush hour is."
    "Can't she ride in a helicopter or something?!"
    "She's afraid of heights."
    Prose grabbed her head to try to keep her sanity intact. 
    Thinker put a hand on her shoulder. "It's fine, bitter-brain. We can handle this."
    "But we only have--" she snuck a glance at the clock. "TWO MINUTES!"
    She paused.
    Then looked again. "Two minutes? I could've sworn it said two minutes, two minutes ago."
    With a strained smile, Plott gave the device a good whack. The clock started counting down again. 
    1:59
    1:58
    1:57
    "WAIT WAIT WAIT!" Prose rushed forward, but Thinker grabbed her arm. 
    "Re-lax," he took out his phone and dialed a number. "We have plenty of time."
    "WHAT?! BUT IT'S AT--" she turned to the bomb and read the time. "A MINUTE, FIFTY-SEVEN SECONDS." 
    Thinker raised an eyebrow. "And now?"
    "A MINUTE FIFTY-SEVEN SECONDS."
    Thinker waited a few seconds before asking again. "...and now?"
    "A MINUTE FIFTY-SEVEN--" Prose grabbed the weapon from Plott's hands. "WHAT THE HECK?!"
    "Hey! Careful with that!" Plott snatched it back accompanied with a scolding wag of his finger. 
    "This may take a while, so I'm going to order pizza," Thinker strode to the couches in the reception area and sank into the cushions. "Hawaiian, of course. Any other requests?"
    Prose furrowed her eyebrows. "How can 'time' take a while?"
    Plott raised his hand. "Oh! Sausage and pepperoni for me!"
    "And you Prosie?"
    Prose simply stared at the bomb like it had just stepped out of an alley with a bloody knife and a dead body.
    Thinker shrugged.
    Still utterly baffled by the bomb from outside the space-time continuum, Prose didn't take her eyes off the clock.
    Even as the pizza arrived.
    Even as they turned on a football game on the nearby TV.
    Even as said football game went into overtime.
    Even as Thinker and Plott started a game of Monopoly.
    Even as Thinker and Plott finished a game of Monopoly ("you cheated" "it's not my fault the bank likes to give me free money").
    Even as Thinker went on a shopping trip to buy ingredients so he could follow along with a tutorial on the food channel where they slow-cooked brisket and made pork sandwiches.
    Prose had to admit, the brisket was exquisite. 
    And even as Thinker served as Plott's therapist as said traitorous employee laid on the couch and recounted his tragic childhood. 
    "AHA!" Prose spun around to face the clock again, as Thinker handed Plott a tissue and a teddy bear to hold. "LOOK! IT CHANGED! IT SAYS A MINUTE NOW!" Her expression of joy fell right after. "A MINUTE?!"
    She glanced at it again. 
    "HOLY--THIRTY SECONDS!? WHOA WHOA WHOA CLOCK SETTLE DOWN NOW."
    Thinker walked up next to her. "Prose can you be quieter? Plott is reliving some deep trauma at the moment--"
    Prose whipped out her watch, nearly shoving it in Thinker's face. "LOOK THINKER." Her finger tapped on the glass where the second hand was steadily moving. "See? Ten seconds have passed! So the bomb should read twenty seconds now, right? Well it DOESN'T! So WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU?"
    "That you need to get a new watch."
    "NO! THAT COUNTDOWN CLOCK IS...IT'S NOT OF THIS UNIVERSE. IT'S...IT'S ANCIENT WITCHCRAFT."
    Thinker smiled. "Time is an illusion. As are pants."
    Prose buried her face in her hands. "I am so dead."
    Just as the words left her mouth, the front door burst open with a dramatic gust of wind and convenient backlight to form the silhouette of the heroine of the day...night...whatever time it was. 
    "I am SO SORRY I'm late!" the lady bowed multiple times in apology. "There was traffic and a freak accident, then they gave me the wrong mocha, so I had to go back, but then a terrorist group and purple dinosaurs and--it's a whole thing."
    "Ooh! Do tell, Molotov!" Thinker clapped his hands. "We have time."
    Prose smacked his shoulder.
    Plott blotted another tear before donning his sinister smirk once more. "But you only have ten seconds left. Before this entire building goes...kaboom."
    He strode to the pizza box, grabbed another slice and stuffed it in his mouth, before saluting and running backwards out the doors. "Aight! Imma head out!"
    The bomb-defuser picked up the weapon and turned it over in her hands. 
    "Would you please hurry up?" Prose said. 
    "Do you want this to be exciting or not?" 
    "At this point, I think wringing someone's neck will be exciting."
    Molotov turned to Thinker. "Is she always this violent?"
    Thinker laughed. "Just when she's stressed, isn't that right, bitter-brain?"
    "Guys."
    The two looked at Prose.
    She raised a shaky finger. "It's at zero."
    And indeed.
    They had run out of time. 
    "Huh," Molotov said. "This hasn't happened before."
    The three stood there in silence.
    "So...are we dead now?" Prose asked. 
    Molotov held out a hand to Prose. "It was nice knowing you."
    Suddenly, Thinker let out a long, wheezing laugh, which is when Prose decided that yes, Thinker was actually mentally unstable. 
    He wiped away tears. "Wow, I can't believe I didn't notice this before." He lifted the device and Prose flinched. "Just as I expected."
    "It's a Stereo Tropes Co. product," Thinker showed the tell-tale seal to them on the bottom. "The only reason products sometimes don't carry out their full duties is because they're on demo mode."
    He tapped the small sliding switch. "See?"
    Molotov winked and waved finger-guns. "Haha, 'demo' mode? Get it?"
    "But if we do this..." Thinker slid the switch and set the bomb down. 
    Electric blue strobe lights streamed from the weapon in a dazzling light show and the countdown clock showed kittens holding digital numbers. 
    Thinker grinned. "That's more like it."
    "Thinker," Prose said and he turned to face her. "What'd you do?"
    "I turned on the bomb for real."
    The two women stared at him. 
    Thinker's eyes widened. 
    "Oh shoot."





 
For winning my contest, 2am Ghost got to choose the next trope I'd write about and they suggested this one about the countdown clock that conveniently never seems to run out before the hero arrives. Thank you so much! I hope I did it justice.

If ya didn't know, Molotov's name is from the term, "Molotov cocktail", a cheap, bottle-based incendiary weapon :D 
(Also did anyone see the ATLA reference I snuck in here??)

And if you haven't already, be sure to check out the other Stereo Tropes Co. stories!!
He Arrived in an Ice Cube and I'm Freaking Out
4 Complaints Filed for HR Management at Stereo Tropes Co.  
There's a Coworker in My Office and He's Laughing like a Maniac
Trapped in a Room, but At Least the Marble Floors are High-Quality
A Sentient Ball of Goop is Ravaging the City but All This Kid Wants Is His Xbox

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  • August 1, 2020 - 8:16pm (Now Viewing)

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16 Comments
  • Rohan’s Defender

    YESSS YOU ARE ONE OF MY NEW BEST FRIENDS!


    3 months ago
  • em wilder

    yeyseysyeysyeyssyessyessss how do you do this magical thing called writing????~!!!!! this is like the best one ever. no improvements can be made... this is literal gold. jiopodjk and the blue strobe lights.... and the pineapple juice.... honestly u r genius! <3


    4 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    EVERYTHING about this is pure gold. (like that heavenly sunshine liquid.)


    5 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    REALLLY???????????? YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! I'm soooooo sooo glad you like it, I was kinda worried, cause I knew it wasn't anywhere NEAR as good as yours! Eeee it was so much fun to write ! Tysm!!


    7 months ago
  • Starcatcher

    I don't think i have ever laughed so hard at anything on her but....
    "you cheated" "it's not my fault the bank likes to give me free money"
    "Time is an illusion. As are pants"


    7 months ago
  • RemovedUser1

    I would just like to point out that I no longer refer to pineapples as "Pineapples." I call them "Heavenly Sunshine Liquids," XD. Even though pineapples are technically not liquids yet... I still come them that XD


    7 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    " heavenly sunshine liquid called pineapple juice", "where is the fun in this all-red color scheme? It desperately needs a splash of vibrance. "I'm thinking electric blue strobe lights and a countdown clock involving cute cats." ""A MINUTE, FIFTY-SEVEN SECONDS."
    Thinker raised an eyebrow. "And now?"
    "A MINUTE FIFTY-SEVEN SECONDS."
    Thinker waited a few seconds before asking again. "...and now?"
    "A MINUTE FIFTY-SEVEN" " "This may take a while, so I'm going to order pizza, "Hawaiian, of course. Any other requests?" " Plott raised his hand. "Oh! Sausage and pepperoni for me!" " Even as the pizza arrived.
    Even as they turned on a football game on the nearby TV.
    Even as said football game went into overtime.
    Even as Thinker and Plott started a game of Monopoly.
    Even as Thinker and Plott finished a game of Monopoly ("you cheated" "it's not my fault the bank likes to give me free money").
    Even as Thinker went on a shopping trip to buy ingredients so he could follow along with a tutorial on the food channel where they slow-cooked brisket and made pork sandwiches.
    Prose had to admit, the brisket was exquisite.
    And even as Thinker served as Plott's therapist as said traitorous employee laid on the couch and recounted his tragic childhood. " "Thinker handed Plott a tissue and a teddy bear to hold" ""Time is an illusion. As are pants." "door burst open with a dramatic gust of wind and convenient backlight to form the silhouette of the heroine of the day...night...whatever time it was." "then they gave me the wrong mocha, so I had to go back, but then a terrorist group and purple dinosaurs and" " Electric blue strobe lights streamed from the weapon in a dazzling light show and the countdown clock showed kittens holding digital numbers.
    Thinker grinned. "That's more like it."
    "Thinker," Prose said and he turned to face her. "What'd you do?"
    "I turned on the bomb for real."
    The two women stared at him.
    Thinker's eyes widened.
    "Oh shoot."" THESE LINES HAD ME CRACKING UPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG I LOVE ALL YOUR STEREO TROPES BUT THIS ONE HAD ME ACTUALLY LAUGHING OUT LOUD (which like, never happens) OMGOSHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THIS SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!! Btw #Homeschoolsquadyasss


    7 months ago
  • RemovedUser1

    This one is awesome too! And, yeah, in all those cheesy movies the hero gets there at just the right time XD.
    Replying:
    I thought those details would be nice. Thanks for reading it!


    7 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Wow, this is awesome! It made me laugh so hard and I immediately went to read all your other pieces. I am definitely looking forward to reading more!!!


    8 months ago
  • journal.scribbles

    I laughed through this whole thing. This is my personal favorite in your series. Omg I just reread it, it's so hilarious!


    8 months ago
  • 2am Ghost

    YESSSS!!! It’s everything I hoped it be, added with blue strobe lights and kittens! (I actually really do love kittens lol) Thank you so, so much! It’s awesome! :D


    8 months ago
  • Emi

    This is so funny! I love how you play on the typical ticking clock scenario! I will definitely be checking out these other pieces.


    8 months ago
  • books4life

    hahahaha love!


    8 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    omg you're the smartest person ever.
    and thinker with his pineapple juice will forever be iconic. stereo tropes is ART.


    8 months ago
  • ek503

    I love this :D


    8 months ago
  • ineffable

    Haha this is great


    8 months ago