hello, my dears! welcome to the mess that is my brain, which somehow produces writing that people read, and dare say enjoy? my dearests sunny.v and chysanthemums&ink have both done these, so go check theirs out too! it seems that some of my best work has come from this perpetual writer's block of mine, so i hope you enjoy seeing the rusty gears turn in my brain!
my writing process is a bit strange. i write as though i'm in a sort of trance. first i come up with a line to kind of build the piece around and then i start writing. i'm in the moment and, though i know the jist of what i wrote, i let the other stuff just kind of come (word vomit squad) and it's always a surprise to reread a piece of mine. it's like "whoa, i wrote that?" so, i can't tell you the inspiration behind individual lines, so, per request, i will pick my favorites from my favorite works and tell you about the pieces themselves! sit back, relax, and enjoy!
crease, sculpt, shape "should i rewrite the constellations threaded into my heart, the words etched into my soul, just to please you?" "your creases are what make you shine in a galaxy of stars." i feel like this piece was the first in a new chapter of my writing. to this day, it is one of the most personal pieces i've written. it was originally for OpalDove's tiebreaker and i am super proud of it! the first three sections are different stereotypes that i feel some women are pushed into (one: changing ourselves for guys; two: being sweet all the time; three: looking a particular way)
daughter of your ashkenazi ways "/ i am the child of kiddush and kaddish and i let my language flow from my lips /" "/ i am the baby who sometimes fears for her life / slurs tattooed on my forearm / will they ever fade? /" definitely a favorite child; for sunny.v's #childofyournation challenge. the goal was to dive into our cultures and the piece focuses on judaism and common motifs and what they mean to me. i love being able to share my religion with people, so if you read it and have any questions, feel free to ask away!
estrella, estrella "/ i collect your remains and bury them beneath quasar tombstones / estrella, pen your will with hydrogen and i'll lick the envelope shut with helium /" "/ embroider your soliloquies into my skull /and yet betelgeuse mocks me from orion's shoulder/ why can't i glow blood-red for all to see /" i wrote this piece on a whim and it is somewhat inspired by a piece of efflorescence's that she unpublished. i tried to mirror the life cycle of a star and am proud of the celestial imagery and the use of rhetorical questions.
if planets were people "jupiter, the drama queen. the one who twists a drop of rain into a hurricane, a paper cut into a festering wound." "neptune, the one who dabbles in revenge fantasies more than real life . . . the one who writes vows in dripping blue blood. one day her sword will find its way to helios's chest." to this day, my most liked piece! i was scrolling through pinterest for inspiration *curses writer's block* and found this thing that discussed the aesthetics of the planets. i didn't read it because i didn't want it to taint my interpretation of the planets and their personalities, so i decided to write my own! i loved seeing which character you guys related to the most!
i will survive " i unlock my chains and weld the shackles into a new idea. mutual love, a delicacy that i'll save only for the worthy."
"i stir jazz into my coffee. country sits by me as we watch the sunset from my porch, filling the void." an ekphrastic poem, based on gloria gaynor's i will survive. a dying relationship! what fun! i had a lot of fun writing this piece while reading the lyrics to the song, weaving them in. while it is not a favorite child (sorry, honey) i cherish it and use it as a reminder that inspiration can come from anywhere!
lemon drop summers & chocolate streaked skies "one day, we'll sit beneath the elm tree in the park and watch as clumsy clouds spill chocolate across the sky and giggle as the sun admonishes them."
"i remember thinking that your eyes were actually mirrors, reflecting the sky in all her glory. i half expected a cloud to drift into your pupil." a social distancing summer meets playful love story! i wrote how i felt about missing my friends and then twisted it to be a bit more romantic. i was sitting in the pool with my family and the title just came to me and the piece soon followed. i wrote this for K-9's tournament and it was inspired by the phrase "hang in there." a favorite child who i recently revised for a magazine contest!
mourning your emerald gems and macadamia cookies "/ no one needs to know that i leave the shower running for hours at a time / i can pretend that you're in there, humming softly as you lather up your raven hair that i always envied / quit wasting water, don't you know we're in a drought? / how is it wasting if you're right around the corner, squeezing conditioner into travel bottles, waiting to step under the faucet? /" another product of my block. i was really into sequences and decided to mirror the stages of grief as someone who lost her sister. i saw this thing on ig about this girl on american idol who lost her sister in a car crash and it made me super sad. i love my sister so much and i can't imagine life without her. mirroring the process of healing was really hard to balance with imagery, but i'm really happy with the end result! thanks to fatpanda for a stellar review!
my diadems are but theoretical "/ your eyes are like honey-streaked bay leaves / wring them out between the gloomy street corners and keep them at the back of your spice rack /"
"/ crumple the manila crown between cracked nails / i don't need your royal decrees / i wince as aristocracy draws her blade across my fingertip, slicing it open / my blood smears crudely against my paper tiara, rubies set into gold /" based on the lovely sunny.v's we can rule the streets. i took the line about manila crowns and built the piece around it. i was inspired by two friends, one of elevated status who is pro-gentrification, and the other who is uncomfortable with the changes that are coming about. it's sort of from the opposite point of view as sunny.v's piece, but a bit different. i'm really proud of this piece too!
reservoir girls "smother us with your western fabrications / stamp us flat in your cursed assembly line /" i admit, i am a huge people-pleaser. this piece kind of mirrors that. while it's not my most refined piece, but i'm glad that lots of people were able to relate!
[ring] the bell always tolls the same "/ learn from your forefathers, child / history is flat, just like our blue marble gone through a fondant machine /" "/ peeling layers of skin, soaked in formaldehyde, reeking of deceit / put on your goggles, child, so the juice might spare your eyes /" possibly my favorite child ever *pats all my other pieces on the head* and my second most liked! inspired by romanticization in schools and how *sometimes in my opinion* schools can brainwash kids (but it is EXTREMELY exaggerated). i took a few different subjects and wove in stereotypes, glamorizing history, income, and other stuff. i'm really proud of how i wove social taboos in with school subjects.
summer babies drowning in american sea "i'm a firecracker child / holding them inches from my face / let the sparks burn my nose and remind me that all good things come at a price /"
"/ why can't a summer baby breathe? /" kinda took the format of sunny.v's elegant daughter of asia and took summer items and wove them into society stuff. i like taking objects and making them so much more! it was a fun fourth of july write! also, i had literally just eaten a half of a watermelon and i couldn't take my mind off summer stuff! does anyone else realize that summer nostalgia seems to be a pattern? *laughs awkwardly*
the science of caving in "velvet supernovas folded into squares and tucked into coat pocket lining for safe keeping. not flowers, but petals; individual elements spiraling into existence and out of it with equal subtlety." i think of this as the twin to lemon drop summers & chocolate streaked skies because i wrote them at the same time in the same mindset. a toxic relationship (big surprise there) and i tried to use supernovas as a motif (not entirely sure if it was successful, but i'm proud!) and i had a lot of fun with the format spiraling out of control at the end.
toxic forgiveness steeped in acetone "it must be hard to keep track of your fabricated universe, between your periwinkle lies & your azure not-quite-truths." "throw kindness around like candy, they said, & you feigned hatred of all things sweet. still, you sell your soul for skittles & pop milk duds into your mouth between classes." definitely another favorite child, especially since this is so personal about a toxic friendship i had. i used color as a motif, blue symbolizing lies and yellow symbolizing sincerity. i am really proud of the formatting on this one!
toxins and remedies "born of air, you blow dust off my altar and light the incense as fragrant tendrils dance between the strands of my hair."
"quilt your dreams in star anise, sabaism ever prevalent in your veins as you kneel before your window, whispering vows and celestial stories." inspired by essential oils, and another product of my block! i played with betrayal and took a kind of fantasy approach. what if an old friend literally sedated the other? haha, people seemed to think that it was theoretical, but i pictured a literal brainwashing *laughs nervously again* really proud of this one again! :D
thanks for reading this! if any of these lines inspire a piece of your own, feel free to write it and notify me; i'd love to read it! i'm really tired while writing this so sorry if there are a lot of typos . . . again, thank you all for supporting me through writing and other stuff! i love you all! keep being amazing! *hugs hugs*
special thanks to sunny.v! i based my formatting off of your piece and would be totally lost without you! <3 *mwah*