Apparently, I'm 17
Come to my feed for free hugs :)
Somebody run through castle ruins at midnight with me

Soft girl/Dark academia mix

WtW pixie


Message to Readers

Has anyone ever wondered what Gaston's first name is? I mean, they say "Monsieur Gaston" which likely means that Gaston is his last name, unless they're just being WEIRDOS lol.

For the last time, please read my book. Orion will give you a tol boy hug and probably draw you too.

The Weirdest Lines I've Written on WtW

July 7, 2020


    *Slides down ramp, staring seriously into the camera* Good evening.
    This idea randomly came to me, and I feel like it's a very mediocre idea, so I already apologize.
    Naturally, being a fiction writer who occasionally dabbles in poetry, I have written some strange things. And I mean strange. So, today, I've collected a bunch of random lines that are really odd so that we can laugh at my odd brain together. (Yes, a lot of these are from Dawn of Fog and Glass, my current book. Maybe my MC, Arden, is just weird. Maybe I just want to promote my book. *shrugs*)
    "'No, no, we can’t do that again. She’s at fourty-percent sanity denial already. If we put another voice in her head, she’s going to think she’s going crazy.'
    'All the authors I've worked with think they’re crazy,' Andrew counters.
    'I wonder why,' I whisper sarcastically." From Where the Fictional Characters Really Come From.

    "I'm very tempted to smash my head through the glass wall." From Dawn of Fog and Glass: Chapter Ten.

     "?yrteop dnatsredun enoyna seod" From Will Writing a Poem Backwards Make it Seem More Real?.

    "Of course, she's supposed to be written as a major-feminist, but really just comes off as a man-hater. Whoops?" From Five Ingredients Every YA Fantasy Novel Needs.

     "Smooth, Arden. You just keep getting better and better at this "verbal communication" thing." From Dawn of Fog and Glass: Chapter Ten. --> I mean, speaking to a boy you had been told was dead is pretty difficult too.

   "Keep in mind that this is a no-judgment zone, and I was also, like, eleven when I had this dream. I dreamed that there was a new High School Musical movie (idek??) in the making, but Zac Efron didn't show up, so they randomly called in the Rock to play Troy instead?? Partway through filming, he suddenly turned into a fish and dropped into the sewer. Then he was really upset because he was a random sewer fish, so he decided to become the world's first fashion-designing fish that was based in the sewers. (He was surprisingly successful.) Unfortunately, there was another sewer fish that was trying to break into the fashion industry and got jealous of Rock-fish's success, so he poisoned all the sewers. Whoops. The end." From Q&A for 50+ Followers: Results. (The question was what the weirdest dream I've had was. Update: about a week ago I also had a dream where Timothée Chalamet watched in adoration as I did a twenty-three turn pirouette with a couple of spicy fouettés mixed in, then we ran away together to a beach. Call me basic all you want, but that was a good dream, albeit weird.)

    "Barrett grins. 'Hey, Newbie. I’m Barrett.'
    'And I’m tired of white boy bullshit,' I bite back." From Dawn of Fog and Glass: Chapter Seven. AKA the one where Arden goes off on Barrett.

    "I turn over my shoulder, meeting a horde of student and teacher eyes glaring at the bloody flower assassination on the floor. As if it's my fault." From Love, Calypso. (Unreleased!!! To be released onto WtW soon; it's for batman_is_a_cracker's challenge, #myrose.)

    "'I’ll cut you a deal. You let me suck your blood, and I’ll let you suck something of mine.'” From Where the Fictional Characters Really Come From. <-- What can I say, vampires are raunchy. I know this sounds a little...um...crazy out of context, but in context it's not as weird, I promise.

    "Welcome back to Ellie's Advice, a.k.a. the unexpected writing tips nobody asked for." From How to Instantly Become a Better Writer.


      ha                      H A


 H Ahaha                 ha" From It's Tea-Time, Darlings ;).

    "I don’t care what his name is. It can be nice and simple. Asshat, perhaps." From Dawn of Fog and Glass: Chapter Five.

A thump beside me means Asshat has confirmed my suitcase is bomb-free, or whatever he was checking for. Probably glass. Maybe a weapon. Maybe a drink. Maybe all the shits that I don’t give about him and his probably-stupid real name." ALSO from Dawn of Fog and Glass: Chapter Five. (What can I say? Arden likes giving out nicknames to annoying government officers.)

    "Summer, that bitch." From If the Seasons Were People.

    "He is more often caucasian than not." From Five Ingredients Every YA Fantasy Novel Needs.

 "I move my hands downwards, finding the buttons of his shirt. Damn buttons. Always getting in the way." From To be Your Weakness.

    "Without so much as looking up, Orion says, 'If any of your friends touch my art supplies, I will make their lives extremely unpleasant.' He drops the brush into his tea mug again and loudly shouts a vulgar word." From Dawn of Fog and Glass: Chapter One. --> Because Orion is cute and sarcastic and my favourite moody art boy. (Swear-bomb warning) I really just wanted to say that he shouted "FUCK!", but I think that's a little much for the first chapter.

    "[She] probably has daddy issues, and is as straight as a rod." From Five Ingredients Every YA Fantasy Novel Needs.

    "'Grace, you’re better than this. You’ve played the ‘stereotypical white girl protagonist’ type in way too many books to still be making these amateur interruptions!'" From Where the Fictional Characters Really Come From.

    "I cross my arms, tipping my chin up at him. 'Funny how you’re insulting my size when your dick is so small.'” From Dawn of Fog and Glass: Chapter Seven.

    "Even though he's known the definitely-normal, feisty protagonist his whole life, he only starts having feelings for her when she's shoving her tongue down the throat of the *bad* boy (see below)." From Five Ingredients Every YA Fantasy Novel Needs.

    “'Just let the Crawlers get me,' I moan from under the covers. 'Let them feast on my tiny, delicious body. Make me into Arden pepperoni and sell me in a pizza pie at the meat market.'” From Dawn of Fog and Glass: Chapter Two - Part One. (Don't ask. It's a context thing. In short, Arden isn't a morning person.)
These vary in weirdness. If this becomes popular enough, then I'll do a sequel. Additionally, if you like this idea and want to do one of your own, go for it! You have my full permission. However, please mention that this was originally my idea in the footnotes. (If someone else has done this before then please let me know. I do not want to make it seem like I'm stealing somebody's idea and using it as my own. I don't think anyone has on WtW, but you never know.)

~This is a plea for more people to read my book. I have worked very hard on it, and most of my WtW readers have moved to Wattpad to read it, so please, if you're interested, give it a look. :')~ (P.S. If you read it then Arden and Orion will be very happy. And yes, I think of my characters as real people.)


See History
  • July 7, 2020 - 11:21am (Now Viewing)

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  • mia_:)

    this is so funny! i literally just started reading Dawn of Fog and Glass (can't believe i didn't start earlier) and it's so good!

    5 months ago
  • poetri

    reply: oh thank you, darling! and don't be scared to enter, i'm sure your letter will be great.
    if you're still down to do that review, i'd appreciate it greatly and when you post your letter, will be glad to return the favor <3 all the best to you!

    5 months ago
  • batman_is_a_cracker

    Replying: It's really no problem bro. I actually REALLY like Dawn of Fog and Glass. It's so well written *sob* it's so much better than tioc. I've really connected with the characters and the story and the whole world that they live in. So really, it's no problem. I e n j o y reading your novel XD

    5 months ago
  • batman_is_a_cracker

    Replying: Thank you so much for reading The Illusion Of Control. You seem to know the struggle of posting a novel on WtW so I'm glad you can sypothize. (I'll be sure to check out Dawn of Fog and Glass on Wattpad when I have the time. It's been on my "To be read" list for ages.) Your comments really made my day (or night lol) so thank you for those. I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it.
    ((Update on the status: I'm currently writing Chapter 18, that's two more to go before I post Chapter 11 on WtW. Whoo hoo I'm so excited!))

    5 months ago
  • Deleted User

    I will definitely check out your book! :)

    5 months ago
  • batman_is_a_cracker

    "Summer, that bitch." is still, to this day, one of the funniest lines from a piece I've ever read. Like seriously, it makes me laugh out loud so hard I'm rolling on the floor.

    5 months ago