spurtsofdarkness

India

He/him
B99 fanboy
Slytherin
Poet (?)
est. June 2020
14

Message to Readers

Song recommendation- Ophelia by The Lumineers. Also, this is my first time at writing with slashes, so please don’t be harsh, I’m open to suggestions.

wilt thou remember me, hamlet?

August 2, 2020

FREE WRITING

29
will you remember me, Hamlet?

your delicate fingers/
wandering about places/
where they shouldn't/
moving up my pale legs/
up to my stout thighs/
as i swat them away/
never meeting the teacher's eye/
you looking into my soul/ sinfully/
when she looks at the blackboard/
your voice/ music to my ears/
against the screeching of chalks/
sitting opposite to each other/
on wooden desks/ as star-crossed lovers/ brought together/
by fate/ or not, who cares/
you drawing/ oddly shaped hearts/
with blue ink/ on my fragile wrists/
my hands/
running through your bristly hair/
distractedly/ as you cry over/
your dead father/
i console you/
my clothes/ drenched in tears/
climbing atop the willow/ serene skies/
looking over us/ enviously/
moss-covered branches/ held apart/
by leaves/ agonizing for just a touch/
just a kiss/
returning home/ as night falls/
sitting under/ magnificent purple skies/
and cotton candy clouds/ talking about nothing/
using your shabby jacket/
as a makeshift pillow/
your hazel eyes/ brighter than the stars/
sharing cheap cigarettes/ ash crumbling/ on the ground/
laughing together/ over idiotic jokes/
we are happy/

i climb/ atop the willow/
once again/ this time you're not here/
i need you/ i feel unsafe/
the branches creak/ struggling/
to escape/ from underneath me/
thoughts of you/ spill over in my mind/
like a bottle of ink/ falling over/
your thoughts/ submerge me/
overwhelmed/
i look beneath/ to the silent brook/
ice-cold waters/ flowing furiously/
magnificent smoke/ rising above/
i feel your hand/ creeping up to my cheek/
your thumb/ moving over my dry lips/
no/ i can't/
i can't love you anymore/
i look at the skies/
overturned pits of darkness/ pretending to be beautiful/
this is fate/
my foot slips/
i drop down like a rag doll/
a moment/ between life and death/
suspended in air/ and the only thought i have/
is you, Hamlet/
your hazel eyes/ now blood red/
your innocent hands/ now spell murder/
you/ now a ghost of yourself/

and then/
splash/
i plunge/ into freezing water/
drenched/ with you/
the world stops/
my heart sedates/
melts like gold/
mixes with the ice/
i can't live with you/
nor without/
I can’t live/ anymore/
destiny calls Ophelia/

wilt thee remember her, Hamlet?



 
the tragedy of ophelia and hamlet. ophelia loved hamlet but when he supposedly went mad, he became too manipulative, too controlling. he started using ophelia as a spy against polonius (as much as i know), and ophelia, caught between this crossfire, decided that in an act of suicide, she would actually be taking control of her own life. And then, she jumped off the willow into the brook, independently. This is from her POV. I tried depicting them as childhood lovers, innocent and sweet. And also, I tried to mix both the eras, with the suicide scene seemingly set in the olden times, and the childhood scenes have been depicted as modern (they go to school, etc.) But you can decide the time periods, since I didn’t actually describe them. That’s all I guess. 

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  • August 2, 2020 - 2:41am (Now Viewing)

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17 Comments
  • rainandsonder

    you’re back! :D


    14 days ago
  • purplepanache

    AHHHHSKJDSKSKDK IM SO HAPPY YOURE BACK WE MISSED YOUUUU!!!!


    15 days ago
  • Dmoral

    YOUR BACK ON WTW !!! yay!


    15 days ago
  • muirann

    This is gorgeous!!! Your use of descriptive language is awe-inspiring. (Hamlet is also one of my favorite Shakespeare works :))


    29 days ago
  • rainandsonder

    the branches creak struggling to escape from underneath me” this piece is so beautifully tragic, i read it while listening to “ophelia” and the song matches this piece so well. love this!


    30 days ago
  • batman_is_a_cracker

    Replying: I still come to WtW for little visits from time to time just to see what everyone's up to so I'm not really "gone for good." But no, I'd definitely come back if they changed the guidelines.


    about 1 month ago
  • Doodleninja

    as a Hamlet fanatic, you my friend have reached perfection with this piece *chef's kiss*
    I love how you told the story through Ophelia's eyes. And I love how you portrayed the fall of their innocent, sweet relationship.
    *thunderous applause* :D


    about 1 month ago
  • purplepanache

    replying: holy, i cannot wait to see what you come up with. also, how is that stealing 'my thing' lmao?


    about 1 month ago
  • thelostone

    This is beautiful.


    about 1 month ago
  • Sanjana Sunilkumar

    You make me speechless!


    about 1 month ago
  • HeyThereRose

    This is so beautiful!


    about 1 month ago
  • ElsaRee

    Beautiful!! Stunning!!!
    And just adding a point: After her death, Hamlet says to her brother,"I loved Ophelia.Forty thousand brothers could not,with all their quantity of love, make up my sum"
    Great work!!! <3


    about 1 month ago
  • Eblinn

    This is so beautiful, it felt like I was 'reading' a movie if that makes sense. I love how you used this story and made it into your own poem.


    about 1 month ago
  • elliem

    Reply: Of course! I loved it! :)


    about 1 month ago
  • purplepanache

    i'm a little shaken by this. wow.
    the way you've created that contrast between love and longing is simply breathtaking. ink acts as a recurrent motif to portray how hamlet stays etched onto her mind (at least thats what i felt). and i relished that transition to her death- you've brought it out quickly, deftly and rather plainly- which is quite enchanting, as always. ill try to drop a review as soon as i can!


    about 1 month ago
  • elliem

    Wow. This is breathtaking. Your imagery is powerful and your writing is just *chef's kiss*. Keep in mind that in this case it would be "wilt thou remember" instead of "wilt thee remember"! Thee is for ends of sentences.

    (e.g. "Wilt thou remember me, Hamlet?"
    "Yes, I will remember thee.")

    I hope this helps; if not, be sure to ask for confirmation (I know I can be vague). Otherwise, this poem is absolutely jaw-droppingly beautiful. Love it! :)


    about 1 month ago