Dmoral

United States


est. 2018
she/her | junior
semi active; chaotic life.
published writer + classics enthusiast.

Message to Readers

Typos are most definitely present, but I hope this is still trendy (?). Anyway, stopped by again and say this, decided to try it :)

zealous daughter of an american dream

July 7, 2020

FREE WRITING

15

i am the child to the sea of recollection / where the waves raised me through / their harsh means, / but no one masters / the art of / swimming without / learning the fear / of drowning. and / the wet sand / rashing between my toes / versed me the concept of / creativity, / how anything could be / whatever i wanted it to be / as longed as i attracted / the right vibes and personalities. as for / the shells of purity, (with a / vintage feeling for those / who lived by them so long / only to leave), / they taught me the / importance of collecting things / that helped create me, so when / i need a good memory / i could run my fingers over them freely, / and a youthful simplicity would wash over me. / so / even when / i leave her / i know / she'll remember / me / cause darling, / water has / memory / . /

i am the little girl of a patriotic country where / brothers fought each other / repeatedly /  in the years when we / were trying to learn what color / our nation bleeds. it took / decades for us to / figure enough of ourselves out / and be where we be / and though it isn't / all that pretty / nothing is created ever so / easily. and though / it hurts when / they ask me for my / ethnicity and cultural / identity on those / during overrated testing / i make my own box / and write / american & free, / proudly / since i'm everything that / ever could be and / that's because of this country / where immigrants carved their names into / creating homes where / their bodies fell from the overwhelming / freedom from the / captivity, the reason / why, they had / to leave / . /

i am the daughter of dangerous streets / where gangs roamed freely / but passed by our house tenderly / respecting the hard-working (adoptive) father / and lovely wife with / they have 5 littles / they try and feed well. / and every other rain storm / we find ourselves among the / soaked and empty streets / clinging to our neighbor's / boogie boards (which we stole / back in '13) and run with bare feet / just to jump at the / last minute and pray / the gutter guides us / nicely. so yes, / i know my home is / in that overpopulated city / just outside the / borders of poverty where / i grew up eating 'thankful's and dreaming of / other realities. and though / some ask me if / i would change anything, my answer / is all that happened, made / me / me, why would / i want it to be any differently? / . /

i am the baby born from two separate parties / a mother with sickly pale skin that / looked dry at age 19 when / she birthed a beautiful light-skinned baby / with a midnight father who left / through the shadows / the minute he heard of a pregnancy. yes, / that part of my story / isn't that pretty / but / it's the origin that i bleed / when people ask me for / a definition of family. / yet, i also explain / to them, other people part of / my company, those who / grew up loving me / tenderly; / 'cause, i am a / mosaic of people's loving, with bones / that rattle words worth / speaking and a writer / is what they'll one day / call me, / even if the / apple doesn't fall far / from the tree / i was replanted in a new / tree gallery of those / who could be / . /
(Taking title suggestions, slightly uneasy about this one)
Words: 671
Stanza Break Down:
i. I grew up by the beach
ii. My adoptive family is a military family and very patriotic, but since I'm the only non-caucasian, I kind of stand out. Yay light-skin.
iii. Grew up by the beach, in the "ghetto part of the city" (as my brother says)
iv. My origin story(, if you will)
*************
Inspiration from elegant daughter of asia by sunny.v, and hopefully will be added to her new collection #childofyournation. Honestly, her work is brilliant, I can't even properly comment about it because it someone wouldn't praise the glory correctly.
Also, I read dirty daughter of the middle kingdom by chrysanthemums&ink too, and oh my goodness, I loved it almost as much as I love her. She has praised me endlessly and even calls me "Queen" in her "message box" so she helps build my "ego" (if you will) and confidence ;). Anyway, I adore her and her work and have supported her since the beginning of her journey here on WTW. Aka, if I was to have WTW girlfriend, I'd be her XD---you had me in love at "Queen" ;)
*************
Btw, coming back (fully) soon!  But at the moment, I'm leaving again. *Kisses* 

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  • July 7, 2020 - 8:12pm (Now Viewing)

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16 Comments
  • Wisp

    This piece, it's just ugh-
    No words can explain the pain and heartfelt rawness in here. I'm just in love with every single word, and every single one is dripping with such barely masked hurt (and do I sense an identity crisis?), yet it's so strong and utterly well-said.
    "i am the daughter of dangerous streets / where gangs roamed freely / but passed by our house tenderly / respecting the hard-working (adoptive) father / and lovely wife with / they have 5 littles / they try and feed well."
    I have to say, this line hurt the most. Yes, I didn't grow up in an environment quite like this one, but I have stayed in places like this one. My parents were able to get out, but most of our family still stay there. Years of overnight weekend trips and weeklong summer stays have hardened me against the sound of gunshots and trains rattling houses and the living fear of not being able to walk outside your door. It's not the same as living there, but I've gotten a fear for it. I suppose you can say I'm the "one that got away." And honestly, this whole piece is just breathtaking, everything from each letter from beginning to middle to end, it's all glorious fabrication (I know fabricate means to lie, but for the sake of the sound (yes, you already know how much I like to use words that don't mean what I want but sound so nice in the sentence) I will say it fits.) This is utterly beautiful and I know this is a long comment, but I still have no words to express how much I love this.


    about 1 month ago
  • lindsmariebuck

    This is beautiful!!! Also, I'm glad you are back :)


    5 months ago
  • birthdaycandles

    cause, i am a / mosaic of people's loving, with bones /
    woah this line is so beautiful whaaaa :0 I loved reading this :) and welcome back from your writing break!! I had noticed that your name wasn’t appearing on the dash as much, hope you’re all good :D and great piece!


    5 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    oh and also sorry that i couldnt quote the lines i liked because i suck and am just in awe and have nothing to say


    5 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    i cannot explain properly how much i love this piece so sorry for the sucky comment. You and your work is such an inspiration and im dead.The nostalgic feel and just everything .and your words and how you lace them together is magnificent.just everything about this is absolutely beautiful and i am in awe.I look up to your work so much and i was so sad that you left.I litterally freaked out when i saw you published,yay !!!!!you're coming back! your work is a masterpiece of perfection and you are just a queen as chrysanthemumsink said.truly an inspiration and you are so sweet.Your comment when i first arrived made me so happy and ahh since i discovered you your work is just something i just want to keep on reading.
    sorry for the rant .sorry if this was annoying.
    bless your heart<3


    5 months ago
  • jun lei

    and we'll welcome you back with open arms when you're ready <3


    5 months ago
  • jun lei

    i--my adoptive family is also caucasian, and as i'm asian, people usually think i'm an exchange student when they see me, so--anyway, i meant to say that i could empathize on that front.

    this was a gorgeous piece; my favorite was the first stanza: "i am the child to the sea of recollection / where the waves raised me through / their harsh means, / but no one masters / the art of / swimming without / learning the fear / of drowning." i love what you've done with swimming and drowning, and how you personify the waves. in conclusion, i love the sea almost as much as i love this.


    5 months ago
  • inanutshell

    that last stanza hit me really hard. i come from a difficult family as well (altho it's not comparable to your story at all) and the line 'that part of my story / isn't that pretty / but / it's the origin that i bleed / when people ask me for / a definition of family' really stopped me in my tracks. how you've written this is so astounding & heartfelt.

    'even if the / apple doesn't fall far / from the tree / i was replanted in a new / tree gallery of those / who could be' i'll hold this in my heart from now on.

    this piece is absolutely beautiful, love this <3


    5 months ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    i love the new title! like seriously, emotions might just be running high from reading this masterpiece but i love love love the title. 'american dream' just hit all the right spots.
    replying: it's the least i could do for weeks of tiptoeing around you :) *pulls out a flower from sleeve and offers*


    5 months ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    me: reading sunny's comment :] well wHAT am i supposed to say now??????? after her paragraph???? pretend like i'm not jealous of her getting here before me???? ack- (your footnotes i lowkey almost cried ;-; you're probably the closest thing to a celebrity crush i've ever had and i cri TT . if you're not a queen you're a fricking goddess :,,,,,D
    the first stanza, with your warm descriptions of the beach, how growing up by the waves shaped who you currently are. what stood out the most to me was that you not only implied (?) that you'll always remember the beach but that the beach would always remember you too, and it's that sweet feeling of trust, that the water will remember you just as you remember them, that brings this lovely mood to the first stanza.

    the second stanza opens absolutely beautifully and in the beginning, you take the time to really 'dissect' what being american means, so when the readers comes upon the lines after that: "it hurts when / they ask me for my / ethnicity and cultural / identity on those / during overrated testing / i make my own box / and write / american & free" the impact that the line would've had alone is just increased tenfold. like sunny said, it was just the way you described taking those 'ethnicity tests' before ultimately boiling every answer choice down to being 'american'. the section about immigrants just puts the nail onto the coffin because the US IS a country of immigrants, and they came here for a REASON. to search for a better life. despite what everyone says when they're shining a light on america's many many issues, for these people, the US really was the land of dreams.

    the descriptions of where you grew up, how everyone on the outside seems to view these neighborhoods. using a word like 'tenderly' (one of the words that most powerfully invokes what it's describing) just brings this absolutely breathtaking image to your section of this city. it's just so intimate and sweet. the way you wrap it up too... the way outsiders 'view' your neighborhood and then: "is all that happened, made / me / me, why would / i want it to be any differently? / . /" the way you said it literally took my breath away. the pride in your tone, the gentle way you described everything leading up to that, it just brought to my chest feelings i could not describe.

    the last stanza is kinda so personal that i don't really want to go through it but wow. opening with your origin story, and how you accept it but not quite embrace it, how you take up that origin story and build it on your shoulders, but ultimately, the story you take into your arms is the one of a family you found.
    "apple doesn't fall far / from the tree / i was replanted in a new / tree gallery of those / who could be / . /" the rhyming, the affirmation of your identity, it just ties everything up so stunningly, you're left completely satisfied but also tinged with another indescribably pleasant emotion too.

    sorry about the long comment! hmmm... for the title, i think a lot of pieces under #childofyournation usually use the title template of (insert adjective here) daughter (or son or child) of (insert nation name or nickname for that nation or region). i hope that helped!

    if you couldn't tell, i fricking love this. coming back to reread for sure wow. <333333 i stan a talented queen.


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    (also ps i miss u my wtw big sis,,,i barely got to see u before u left so it’s like T^T why’d ya leave me hereee waaaah come back so i can cling to u)


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    “ i am the child to the sea of recollection / where the waves raised me through / their harsh means, / but no one masters / the art of / swimming without / learning the fear / of drowning.”
    these are absolute killer starting lines to hit me with. the idea of the challenge was to be proud of who you are/where you come from, so this was just *chef’s kiss* because it ties the water/the beach to your identity so intimately and poignantly that it’s got me tearing up a bit. ack. stop that right now.
    “ write / american & free, / proudly / since i'm everything that / ever could be and / that's because of this country / where immigrants carved their names into ”
    ethnicity check boxes on tests have always made me wonder about if other students with less straight forward lineages than i grow frustrated. but you take this situation and spit it into something poignant: america, and what it should stand for. immigrants making a new name. and you do it gloriously and proudly.
    “ some ask me if / i would change anything, my answer / is all that happened, made / me / me, why would / i want it to be any differently? / . / ”
    yes sweetheart you own up to the beautiful lady you are! this stanza was so intimate and personal that it’d be a disservice of me to try and touch on it, but i gasped at how brilliantly you unpacked your history and wrote it as something that helped shaped you. mwaaaaaah.
    “ even if the / apple doesn't fall far / from the tree / i was replanted in a new / tree gallery of those / who could be / . /”
    go ahead and make me cry, why don’t you? the metaphor/idiom here was utilized so cleverly and yet the meaning and implications of it are literally nobel prize Worthy. astounding.

    overall, what the absolute heck. you totally blew me out of the water with this. how dare you be so gracious as to take part in my challenge and then outshine me so effortlessly and flawlessly. it’s an honor, truly!! <3 hehe the legendary dmoral took part in my challenge? what did I do to deserve such attention! seriously, thank you so much for so beautifully and poignantly dissecting yourself on this page, and for giving me something to reread twenty times for how brilliant and personal and clever this piece is. thank you ten times over, my Queen *kisses your hand* ;) ;)
    also what the heck i feel like I joined and then u left and then u come back and i leave a little LOLOLOL it’s like we’re always a few fingertips away from each other’s grasp—
    ps don’t u think I forgot our kindness competition ;) ;) I might be satisfied with being second to you, a legend, but I’m still in the gosh dang competition!


    5 months ago
  • poetri

    oh honey this is fanTASTIC


    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Dang, why'd you go and be so sweet when I'm on my period XD. Now I am DESPERATELY trying not to cry. Okay, in all seriousness, thank you.


    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Wow... there's something so sweetly breathtaking about this piece. I can't quite put my finger on it. Really beautiful work here.


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    LOLLL I’LL BE RIGHT BACK TO PROPERLY COMMENT BUT GIRL T^T WHY’D YOU POST THIS WHEN I’M SLEEP DEPRIVED AND HAVE ZERO BRAIN JUICE TO PROPERLY PROCESS AND PRAISE YOU,,,anyways anyways brb coming up with good comment hehe ily <3


    5 months ago