Peer Review by seaomelette (United Arab Emirates)

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Sand or Rock

By: If you died right now, where would you go? (Kit-Kat Sully)


FREE WRITING

By Katherine Sullivan

Darrell Stephens: Hello, Darrell Stephens reporting live in front of the construction site of Millionaire Margret Money-Bags. Mrs. Money-Bags, what do you plan to build here?
Mrs. Money-Bags: Oh, just a new mansion on the shoreline.
 Darrell Stephens: You mean to say that you are building your house on the sand?
Mrs. Money-Bags: You catch on pretty quick kid. Yes, of course, the sand! In the mornings I’ll be able to step outside and feel the sand in between my toes, ah…
Darrell Stephens: Well, it does sound nice but-
Mrs. Money-Bags: Got to go, reporter person, I must start supervising the construction.
(Mrs. Money-Bags begins to supervise the construction crew, 2 construction men set up the cardboard house. A cameraman films the reporter.)
  Darrell Stephens: Well, that’s what’s happening over here back to you Lillia!
Lillia Morgan: Thanks, Darrell! Well over here we have Millionaire Euro Ca-Ching who is building his house upon a-a (laughs) rock! Mr. Ca-Ching, is it true that you’re really going to build your mansion upon the rocks?
 
 Euro Ca-Ching: Yes, the rocks will be a stable foundation for my mansion.
Lillia Morgan: Well I suppose that’s true, but shoreline property is the obvious best choice for a Millionaire of your status. Don’t you think?
 Euro Ca-Ching: Yes, but the sand is not a good foundation for a strong, long-lasting, mansion. You see, the sand will be washed right out from under the mansion. So, I just want to make sure that I will have a strong foundation.
Lillia Morgan: I suppose that’s true. Well, thank you for your time, Mr. Ca-Ching!
Mr. Euro Ca-Ching: No problem!
Lillia Morgan: Well, now to the weather!
Stormy Jane: It seems that there will be a big storm, so grab your umbrellas, rain jackets, and rain boots! It’ll be a big one!
Scene 2
Darrell Stephens: Hello there Darrell Stephens again. That storm was a doozy! Stormy Jane was right! I’m here with Mrs. Money-Bags to check in on the construction of her mansion. So, Margret, how is it going?
Mrs. Money-Bags: Awful! $12,000,000 washed away in the storm!
Darrell Stephens: Are you saying you lost that money in the storm and now you can't find it?
Mrs. Money-Bags: Well in a manner of speaking, yes! The waves washed my house away right to the bottom of the sea! I can't make that money back for a couple of days! I'm so broke! (cries)
Darrell Stephens: Well there, there. (Pats Margret’s shoulder looks very awkward) I'm sure that your construction site will be up and running in just a bit, you'll see.
Mrs. Money-Bags: You don't understand! I'm bankrupt! I only have 1,000,000,000 dollars in the bank! I'm BROOOOOOOKE!!!!
Darrell Stephens: (awkwardly) Um, back to you Lillia.
Lillia Morgan: Sounds like things aren't too good over your way Darrell. But over here things are poppin', Mr. Euro Ca-Ching finished his mansion just before the storm hit. How's it holding up Mr. Euro?
Mr. Euro Ca-Ching: It's fine over here, I'm so well off that I plan to buy a Bugatti Divo for 5.8 million dollars! (Shows the pic of the car.)
Lillia Morgan: I hope you'll take me for a ride!
Mr. Euro Ca-Ching: I'll think about it.
Lillia Morgan: Well I guess it just goes to show you that to have a firm foundation, you need to build your house upon the rocks!
                                         The End
 


Message to Readers

This is a short skit I wrote. I think that it is a bit of a comedy, though I tried to base it off of the parable Jesus told in Matthew 7:24-27. I hope you enjoy it! And keep that positive feedback coming in!


Peer Review

The names of the characters and the dialogue are really clever and well-written! I laughed a lot while reading the skit. I love the way the names of the characters reflect their personalities and actions (i.e. Mrs. Money-Bags for the rich lady building her mansion, Stormy Jane for the weather lady).


I don't think a considerable amount of detail is necessary, as this is a short skit, after all. However, I think the transition from the storm to Mrs. Money-Bags' house washing away is a bit abrupt. You don't have to follow my suggestion exactly, but I think you could describe the storm and foreshadow the house sinking into the ocean in a humorous way, before transitioning to Darrell Stephens' interview of Mrs. Money-Bags. Also, some italics regarding the actions of the characters in parentheses could help make the script a bit clearer to read. Other than that, I really loved this skit--it's hilarious and leaves a lesson for the readers!


Reviewer Comments

Keep up the great work! :3