Writing is like a grilled cheese sandwich; I never seem to get enough of it. I have been writing since I was a child and have not stopped since.
I would prefer to receive feedback that both points out the strong points of my essay and provides suggestions for improvement.
Written By: Olivia Schultz-Falandes
May 1, 2014
The rain was sighing as it plummeted from dark, fuming clouds. The sharp splatter of icy cold water carved lines into the pavement. Like an artist with her most precious drawing, the rain spilled dirt and pebble, swirling and spreading intricate designs across the grass, past the looming trees whose branches were bending over, scraping the earth like overgrown nails. While the sky wept, the wind flew past, an invisible force with unbridled intensity. The clang of aluminum foil rattled down eroding streets and past rusted buildings. A tin can was being flung left to right and left again. Behind it, loose papers were being viciously torn and trash barrels were toppling over. Bright flashes illuminated the sky, casting sinister silhouettes of the clouds; quickly following was the cacophonous sound of thunder rippling through the air. In the midst of the torrential carnage, a young girl was peering through a house window, across the flooding street. Curious eyes watched the rapid dribbles of rain sliding down the glass. They turned to the rattling of a shopping cart being shoved down the narrow street by an enormous wind gust. Those small, gentle orbs observed the devastation occurring right outside her home with a nonchalance befitting someone a decade older. Gradually, the screaming winds began to lessen. The rain changed from a heavy downpour to a light drizzle. The girl, still gazing patiently out her window, smiled and opened the latch to the window, pulling it up. The night air was cool and sweet. Mist from the passing rain seemed to envelop around her, an otherworldly exhale. In the distance, thunder continued to rumble, yet softer, gentler, like the end to a lullaby. The girl stood for a moment, soaking in the nighttime, before shutting the window. Promptly, the moon appears above.