amaryllis

United States

Message to Readers

I wrote this a few days ago in the middle of the night and I've left it mostly unedited. Was going through a severe bout of writer's block where nothing I wrote really satisfied me. I wasn't sure whether I should post it but decided that it does need some critique and well, a title. Peer reviews & title suggestions in the comments would be really appreciated!

broken butterflies bleed black

June 30, 2020

FREE WRITING

4
i dream of metaphors spilling from my unrefined maw
and as the stars welcome the illustrious dark 
encroaching doubts are ushered in, their plus one
the endless drought of frustration i’ve kept at bay all day
that has left me withered and thirsty
a bottomless well of empty
reserves of tears dried up
until i can taste the exsiccation on my bloody chapped lips
and all I know is I think I know that 

maybemaybemaybe m a y b e MAYBE M A Y B E

I am not who I think I know I think I am
that as much as my brain is structured 
an empty vessel for inky words that once sloshed about
longing for raw lightning surging through bated breath
maybe the mind is is not enough to triumph over matter
that the blood in my veins and the cells of my tissues
that the very fibers of my being, rebellious monoliths of fate
are enough to uproot what so firmly is 
tearing the seams of all I know I think I know

i can’t, I won’t, I shan’t can’t won’t can’tcan’tcan’t

And I think I know I think I can’t go on like this
chasing what they do until the wrinkled butterfly wings
becomes my haggard prison of ribs & scales
envy oozing out my pores, barely reaching my eyes
the pus puddling at my soles
shrouding the soul in the closet as I try
every imaginable axe to get rid of this
because all I know is I think I know
is that yesterday I was intact
not split open with my own desperate nails
graphite lips talking to my blood and brain
as the pus muddles with the blood around me
and stomach acid erases all that was on my bones
and gnaws acrid new words into the stars

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3 Comments
  • Deleted User

    Oh. this is so stunning. It's haunting, and just ah!
    'dream of metaphors spilling from my unrefined maw
    and as the stars welcome the illustrious dark '
    this is so absolutely lovely!!!
    for a title how about- Minds and Butterflies?
    Replying- aww thanks!!! that's so kind of you <333!


    5 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    "and stomach acid erases all that was on my bones/and gnaws acrid new words into the stars" stunning, stunning work, as always! :) love how dark and compelling the tone of this poem is.
    for a title- maybe butterfy wings?


    5 months ago
  • naomi ling

    ohh beautiful work. "envy oozing out my pores, barely reaching my eyes / the pus puddling at my soles" how poignant. writer's block is hard, but i believe in you; chip at it!


    5 months ago